INS jokes
Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains! Well, pull yourself together, then.
Doctor, doctor! My brother's crazy! He thinks he's a chicken. Is he egging around? Yes, but we need to get the eggs.
Woman: Doctor, doctor! I keep thinking I'm an elephant! Doctor: Run around the room. Then the woman stomps around the room and breaks things.
Doctor, doctor! I fell like a bell! Shall I ring you, then? When can you ring me up?
Doctor, doctor! I have a ball stuck in my throat! Shall I bat it and get a run, then?
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom?
Because the P is silent.
My brother puts his butt in his face and says, "Kyle, you're cracking me up!"
Three kids one day found a magical slide. There was a sign next to it saying, “Whatever you wish for comes true once you slide down.” One kid stepped up and slid down. He wished for a river of chocolate, thus he swam in a chocolate river.
The second kid slid down and wished for a mountain of money. He then landed in a pile of money. The third kid went down and said, “Weeeeeeee!”
He's homeless.
Another: Oh he must be A "Sheer" (as in Andrew Scheer) survivor...
The other: No, he's a Liberal (as in Justin Trudeau) job hopeful.
I guess age is just a number, but in your boyfriend's case, a personal preference.
A little girl and a little boy are taking a bath together when the little girl looks down and asks, "What's that?"
The little boy says, "That’s my little red race car."
Ten minutes later, the boy looks down and asks, "What's that?"
The little girl says, "That’s my little red race car garage."
So later that night, the little boy asks the little girl if he can put his little red race car in her little red race car garage. She said yes, and then they pull down their pants and the boy tries putting his little red race car in her garage, but it won’t fit.
Downstairs, the mother hears an ear-piercing scream and runs up the stairs, flips on the lights and sees blood on the floor. The mother asks, "What happened?"
The little girl says, "We tried putting his car in my garage and it wouldn’t fit, so I cut the back wheels off."
I got fired from a pickle factory for getting my finger caught in a slicer. They only gave *her* the day off with pay... unfair!
Poopy pants! Ha! Got 'em! Use Code Fred_5001 in the Fortnite item shop.
If you shit in a church, is it a holy shit?
How do you know if an Asian has been in your house?
Your dog's gone.
Your finances are done.
And your floaties.
what was sally's role in a football game?
the football ;-;
Q: What do women and KFC have in common?
A: Once you eat the breasts and thighs, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.
What do blondes and beer bottles have in common? They are both empty from the neck up.
Do you like tree jokes? Because they leaf me in tears!
Do you like tree jokes? Because they leaf me in tears! :3
There are sexiest women in politics.
They should be in a car showroom.
Me: Hi Kallen.
Kallen: Hi.
Me: You're too big to fit in my car.
I speak for the trees.
*Trees whisper in my ear*
They said six million wasn't enough.
Roses are red, don’t touch the toys, these are what the priests use to lure in the boys.