INS jokes
Two tourists climb a mountain that utters certain doom.
One tourist falls down. The tourist that's still on the mountain says, "You ok down there?"
The other tourist says, "Can't I just rest in peace?!"
Why did the toilet paper not make it across the road?
Because it got stuck in the crack.
I asked my North Korean friend, "what's it like to live in North Korea?" He responded, "can't complain."
Free blacks in the Civil War is the same as me drawing a reverse card in Uno.
How many babies does it take to replace a light bulb? I'm guessing more than 10 cause it's still dark in my basement.
What does Bill Cosby and someone eating at McDonald's have in common?
They're both mc lovin' what they're eating.
What are you doing, son? It has been an hour, and you are still in front of the mirror closing your eyes.
Mum, actually I want to see how I look while sleeping...
How many time does it take to cook a baby in a microwave?
I don’t know, I can’t count while masturbating.
Why do you never play a game of cards in the jungle? Because there are cheetahs!
Are you a mirror, because I see myself in you?
Albert is a homophobic guy. His cousin Franco is also a homophobic guy.
Albert's aunt and cousin have visited his parents, but Albert didn't know that because he came late at night. Franco was sleeping in Albert's bed, thinking he would not come home. Albert laid on his bed, thinking there was no one on it, and then they started fucking ^_*
No phobia lasts forever 👌😂
One day there was a boy who needed the toilet, so he goes to his teacher and asks if he can go to the toilet. The teacher says "yes, but before you go, what are the first 3 letters in the alphabet?" The boy replies, "I don't know, miss..." The teacher says that he will have to wait.
Later, the boy goes home to his mom who is on the phone. He asks, "What is the first letter in the alphabet?" His mom says, "Oh, shut up!" So the boy goes to his dad who is playing darts and says, "What is the second letter in the alphabet?" His dad says "180!" So the boy goes to his sister who is playing with her Barbies. The boy asks, "What is the 3rd letter in the alphabet?" The sister says, "I'm a Barbie girl in a Barbie world!"
The next day, the boy goes to school and needs the toilet again, so he goes to ask if he can go, and the teacher says, "Yes, but before you go, what are the 3 letters in the alphabet?" The boy says, "Oh, shut up!" The teacher is angry about that, so she says, "What is the second one?" "180!" says the boy, and the teacher asks him where he is from, and the boy says, "I'm a Barbie girl in a Barbie world!"
The end.
Looks like the gene pool in your family is about three inches deep.
What does an emo kid and an apple have in common?
They both are hanging.
What's the worst part about getting old?
Going to pull up the wrinkles in your socks, just to find out you're not wearing socks!
Why do golfers wear two pairs of pants?
Because they'll get a hole in one!
A mouse is just like a ball bearing.
Drench them in oil, and they stop squeaking.
Why don't orphans do homework?
They don't have a home to do it in.
They told me Avengers: Endgame was going to be 3 hours long, but honestly? I felt like it was over in a SNAP!
The last time I had flying lessons, I hit some building in Manhattan. Then my Uncle got shot in 2008. Darn...