INS jokes
What do TVs and girls have in common?
They both show you stuff when you turn them on!
In Soviet Russia, gay sex gets you arrested.
In America, getting arrested gets you gay sex.
Boy: Can I go to the bathroom?
Teacher: If you sing the ABCs.
Boy: ABCDEFGHIJKLMNORSTUVWXYZ!
Teacher: Where’s the P?
Boy: In my pants! Lol. That’s all mates! Have a good day! (Or night)
A NASA scientist is sitting in a bar when a Martian walks in and orders a martini.
The NASA scientist quickly realizes he is dreaming and wakes up. He turns to his wife and tries to explain the dream, but she rolls over and ignores him because she is tired of listening to him.
The NASA scientist begins to sob because his marriage is in shambles. lmao.
Person: I broke my arm in three places.
Doctor: Well, don't go to those three places then.
What do you call a cow in a moving van?
A: A mooving cow.
The fat kid asked the teacher, "Is Godzilla real?" The teacher said, "They're standing right in front of me."
Your mum is so fat, when she sat in a monster truck, it turned into a lowrider.
What does a pulse and an orgasm have in common?
I don't care if she has one.
When you're driving past a graveyard say: "Wow, people were just dying to get in there."
What has a kid with cancer and Peter Pan in common?
They will never grow up.
Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?"
Man: "Yes!"
Reporter: "Name?"
Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim."
Reporter: "Sex?"
Man: "Three to five times a week."
Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?"
Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel."
Reporter: "Holy cow!"
Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general."
Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?"
Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style."
Reporter: "Oh dear!"
Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."
A man walked into a zoo and there was only one dog.
He came out and said, "It was a shitzu."
What do you call a toddler lying in the middle of the road? Speed bump.
A little chimney said: "Ooooh, I think my house owner is making a fire in me! I'm about to smoke!"
The big chimney said next to him: "Well, you're too young to smoke..."
What did my dad say before he went to go get milk?
"There's money in my wallet for pizza. I love you."
What goes in dry and comes out wet?
A dick.
What’s worse than five babies in a dumpster?
One baby in five dumpsters.
What do orphans, parents, and a ball have in common?
If you throw them, they both will never come back.
Knock knock?
Who's there?
Willis.
Willis who?
Willis dick fit in yo mouth?!