INS jokes
Do you know Candice?
Candice dick fit in your mouth!
(just a joke) My grandfather was involved in 9/11. I’ve kept his pilot medals for how good of a pilot he was.
If you have sex and your African parents find out,
“You can do the boom boom. But you can not do the boom boom in my house. Do it somewhere else."
If you ever get mad at an orphan, punch them in the face... What are they going to do, tell their parents?
Do you know what I found in my letter soup?
A space.
What does a cow sound like when in a horror house?
Moo mooo moooooooo (screaming)!
Me: Hey you trashy pig woman, go in the toilet or lay on the grass where you belong.
Trashy pig woman: Why?
Me: Because you smell like fart and you're pretty much just a turd with lips.
Me: "Hey, you trashy pig woman, go in the toilet or lay on the grass where you belong."
Trashy pig woman: "Why?"
Because you smell like fart, and you're pretty much just a turd with lips.
My question is, how do fat people fit in tuxedos? Honestly, don’t wear those. Wear your regular clothes. Your belly is just gonna pop out!
Looks like he got stuck in a sticky situation.
What do you call a short cow in tall grass? Udderly tickled :)
My family is like Donkey Kong: a real pain in the ass.
Three women—a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead—are riding through the desert on a dune buggy. About two hours later, their vehicle dies with no gas, and they're forced to travel to their destination on foot, but they all agree to carry something with them.
The brunette brings canteens of water.
The redhead takes a large beach umbrella.
The blonde somehow rips off the car door.
The redhead asks her, "Why did you take the whole car door?"
To which the blonde replied, "So I can roll down the window in case it gets too hot."
What do Will from "Stranger Things" and the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air have in common? They're both named Will, and their lives both got flipped, turned upside down.
Did you know Stephen Hawking died in a game? The game was Happy Wheels.
Bring a knife into the shower. NEVER gonna see that coming! He pulls the curtain like ‘re re‘ and you're like ‘re re’ yourself, motherfucker, and stab him right in the eye! You thought the psycho was out there? SURPRISE, the psycho’s IN HERE with the Irish Spring on them!
- Why is that flight waiting at 30,000 feet height?
- One tire became flat. They are changing it in the middle of the journey.
What is small, red, and sitting in the corner?
A baby playing with a scalpel.
Who's climbing the tree?..... Not Sarah.
Who is in hospital?.... Sarah.
What did the father bullet say to the baby bullet when he killed a bull by hitting it in the eye: "Bull's eye!"