INS jokes
Why are fish smart?
They live in a school.
One time, I took my wife to the doctors. My wife had a severe migraine and needed a medic. I waited for about 10 minutes.
The doctor walked out with my wife in a wheelchair. "Due to your wife's broken hip, she may never walk again," said the doctor. "She had a migraine," I said. "Oh, we know," said the doctor.
Sign in sheet!
My girlfriend dumped me today. Apparently, I don't stand up for her in fights. I don't care. She used to push me around all the time.
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 9. So what was 10 scared of? Because he was in the middle of 9, 11.
What do a gynecologist and deaf people have in common? They both read lips.
What does a refrigerator and a gay male have in common?
Only one farts when you pull the meat out. 🌝🌝🌝
Two friends are talking and one says, "I had a good day today, I ran into my ex." The other guy replies, "How is that good?" The friend says, "I was in my car."
What do a condom and a gun have in common? You should never use either one of them.
If you own a gun and you live in the USA, hide your gun upstairs. Biden can't get it.
Biden: *falls over on steps*
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair coming out of a building on fire? Hot wheels.
There will be no school shooter joke today in honor of the 10 people killed in the Colorado grocery store shooting. R.I.P.
How do you put a baby in the blender feet first so you can see its facial expressions?
How do you get it out? Tortilla chip.
How do you put a baby in a blender feet first so you can see its facial expressions?
How do you get the baby out? With a tortilla chip!
Your forehead is so clear, like the Liberty Bell manual in 1876.
Now you should let your imagination work... imagine naked Jesus with an erection... and nail holes in his hands...
What do tofu and a dildo have in common? They're both meat substitutes.
The only time that cows will make noise is when they are in the moooo-d.
A guy walks into a bar with a revolver and yells, "WHO THE F*** F***ED MY WIFE!" A man in the back responds, "YOU AIN'T GOT ENOUGH BULLETS MATE!"
What does a cannibal call people in water?
Sea food.