INS jokes
How do you know when a fat person stops eating? You read about it in the obituary.
What does a gynecologist and delivery driver have in common?
Whenever they’re hungry, they can just scrape a little cheese off the top of the box.
What did the man say in the morning after beating up his wife?
"I woke up Chris Breezy."
Being the first to move in chess.
It’s a white privilege.
This place is gonna boom in a few days, just like the towers.
What does a paleontologist and woke people have in common?
They both enjoy digging up the past.
At the job interview, they asked me, “Where do you see yourself in five years?”
I told him, “I think we’ll still be using mirrors in five years.”
I once saw a one-handed man in a second-hand store. I told him, “I don’t think they have what you’re looking for, sir.”
Did you know that the first French fries weren’t cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.
Who were the greenest Presidents in US history? The Bushes.
After an unsuccessful harvest, why did the farmer decide to try a career in music?
Because he had a ton of sick beets.
Q. What's the best part of living in Alabama?
A. Not having to change your last name when you get married.
Have you ever thought about the fact that every market in Africa is a black market?
Your hairline is so far back that if you were a backbencher in class and I was a germ sitting on it, I would think that the rest of the backbenchers are seated in front of the class.
What's the difference between a priest and McDonald's? They both stick their meat in 10-year-old buns.
What’s one thing you can say during a family dinner and in bed?
"Where are the kids?"
What’s one thing you can say during a wedding and in bed?
I didn’t know we were having seafood tonight!
What’s one thing you can say during family dinner and in bed?
"Will there be seconds?"
What’s something you can say in a grocery store and in bed?
"Thanks for coming."
What do alcoholics and amputees have in common?
They are both legless.