INS jokes
You're so fat, every time you go in the elevator, it goes down.
Poor kids in American schools, they want books, but all they get are magazines.
A straight man and a gay man are talking. The straight man says, "I'm wanted in 2 states for murder." and the gay man replies with, "Oh, that sucks. I'm wanted in 13 for existing."
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair? A TANK!
What do dead people and orphans have in common? They can't see their family.
What does "off-limits" have in common with dead people? They can’t see their family.
Learn math the easiest way from Pendu.
Multiplying any number by 0 is 0 itself.
Hint: Multiplying any number by Pendu's G/A in 2022 is 0 itself.
The answer is 0.
I made a website for orphans. It doesn’t have a home page.
What’s the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body? I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.
What is the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman? One is a superhero and the other is a simple command.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they all sit in the dark and cry.
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos. Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.
You’re not completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example.
What plate do you need to eat in a car? A license plate!
Yo mama so fat, she had to get baptized in the ocean.
Joe mama so fat she went wearing high heels and came back in flip flops.
You just might be why the middle finger was invented in the first place.
The twin towers were basically Angry Birds but in real life.
Yo mama's so stupid, she drowned in the pond because the sign said, "No Swimming!"
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? Don’t worry, he woke up.
In my basement.
You were born on a highway in a car crash, I wonder why.
It's kinda sad seeing you attempt to put your whole vocabulary in one sentence. Oh wait, you only said three words.
A woman exclaims that she was robbed. She was reading in the dark, candles were next to her. She says the thief opens her cabin of jewelry and leaves and enters from the window. He left the window open so she feels a drift of wind coming towards her. She turns the lights on and sees what happened.
The candle wax was going down straight. A policeman closes the window and cabin then tells her she's lying just for the cash reward. Why?
Because if the drift of wind came in, the candle wax would be dripping to the side, not straight!
How did Hitler tie his shoes?
He tied them in little Nazis.