INS jokes

How to make an orphan's feet bleed? Make them run in place until their parents get them.

When the guy came in with a gun to rob the store, I said: "Hey, can I borrow that?"

He says "yes." Me, over here, walking to the cashier and saying: "Goodbye!" He screams: "Have mercy!"

I say: "No, not to you, to me. Say goodbye." He says: "No, don't shoot yourself!" It was too late.

What's green, red, and spins at 4000rpm?

A frog in a blender.

Why can't orphans get five stars in GTA? Because they weren't wanted.

In America, you work on a plantation.

In Soviet Russia, the plantation works on you!

My advice to suicidal people: just hang in there. 🕺

You're an orphan and blind. You have cancer. You will die in 3 days. Merry Xmas!

What's the difference between blood and an orphan? Blood has a place in all of our hearts.

Did you know that..

Studies show 9 in 10 Americans do not have basic math skills.

Oh, thank god I'm in that 1%.

TELL ME YOU'VE DONE THIS WITHOUT TELLING ME YOU'VE DONE THIS.!!! So, we all know when y'all were in school, y'all would fart, but y'all would try to make it silent, but for me, that one day I farted loud, and everyone could hear. Everyone got to blame the annoying kid.

How many Emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, they sit in the dark crying.

None, they sit in the dark cutting their wrists.

Why did the people in 9/11 not call 911? Because it would call the pilots.

I got in trouble in school for leaving the depressed kid hanging.

Yo mama is so fat, she was the iceberg in Titanic.

Donald Trump and the Pope were standing on a platform in front of a crowd of people. The Pope said to Donald Trump, “I can make everyone in this audience happy with one small swipe of my hand.”

Donald Trump replies, “That’s not possible. You’ll have to show me.” Then the Pope slaps him.

Why do orphans get in trouble at school?

Because the school doesn't have any parents to report to.

If WW3 starts, I do, in fact, belong in the kitchen.

What's worse than 10 babies is one dumpster...

1 baby in 10 dumpsters.

You know that the F in orphan may stand for family, but it actually stands for "fuck family."

I was bullying a little kid for having a purple eye and said, "Where'd you get that? Your mom? Your dad?"

After that, everyone in my group was laughing at the kid. The next day I never saw him again.