INS jokes
Tonight, on Top Gear!
James May dives a bus full of kids off a mountain!
Richard Hammond starts WW3 in Germany!
And I fly a plane into the World Trade Center!
My cousin: Brother, I lost in a game of Call of Duty: Moe Bill [he was supposed to pronounce it as mobile; however, I left it as it is].
Me: So tell me about it then.
My cousin: I lost to Sum_Baldi.
Me: Somebody? Don’t they have, like, the name of you opponents?
My cousin: No, no, no, the name was Sum_Baldi. S.U.M_B.A.L.D.I.
Me: Ok, my bad. Continue.
My cousin: I got Sum_Baldi, and 5 seconds later, I got kill[ed] by Sum_Fing_Wong.
Me: It’s not wrong! In Call of Duty, you are suppose to kill or be killed.
My cousin: No, no, no, the name was Sum_Fing_Wong. S.U.M_F.I.N.G_W.O.N.G.
Me: My bad again. Do continue.
My cousin: I got so angry I blow[ed] up.
Me: So you got blowed up, by what weapon?
My cousin: By the game.
Me: [was not expecting that for an answer]
Why do orphans want to die?
Because they might see their parents in Heaven.
You know what's the most awkward situation in the world? A rapper with erectile dysfunction.
"White on white crime, well ham rights crime anyway in Eastern Europe right now!"
My uncle died in 9/11. He was in the plane that crashed in the field.
If you call the number 800-273-8500 in Afghanistan, they say, "Can you fly a plane?"
Do you know Putin?
Put in these balls in your mouth.
Women in general are jokes.
Gay gang.
Why does an orphan start with an "O"?
Because they only see their parents in their dream.
Why can’t the emo play in trees? They’ll leave ‘em hanging.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, they sit in the dark and cry xdddd.
The real dead hooker joke is on all of us from the Fraser Valley in BC. You know damn well each and everyone of us ate that Pickton hooker pork. Considering it stretching from the 80's-2000's, pretty sure he got 4 generations of Valley folk with that Pickton pork.
Teacher: Describe Ukraine history in 3 words?
Student: Ukraine is history!
Schools be like "dRuGS arE BaD," then prescribe a 6-year-old Adderall for not wanting to sit in the same spot for 8 hours.
What did the one orphan say to the other orphan?
"Get in the Batmobile, Robin."
President Joe Biden was jogging through some different jogging paths around this great county we live in and was jogging through Alabama and fell off into a swamp filled with killer alligators, and these 3 boys named Willie, Roman, and Little Johnny saw him fall in and jumped in and drug him to safety, and the president was like "Thank you, thank you, thank you SOOO much. I'm gonna give you boys a reward for saving my life," and asks them what their names were and what they wanted. The first boy said, "My name's Willy, and I want to go to Disneyland," and the president said, "No problem, and I'll take you personally." The 2nd boy said, "My name's Roman, and I want an autographed pair of Air Jordan Nikes," and the president said, "No troubles at all," and the 3rd boy says, "My name's Little Johnny, and I want a power wheelchair with an awesome stereo and killer wheels," and the president says, "You don't look handicapped, Little Johnny," and Little Johnny said, "I'm not, but as soon as I tell my parents who I saved, I will be"🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
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