INS jokes
I jump and jump if you put bread in me too many times. What am I? A toaster.
High school crush: Why do you always look so sad?
Me: My mom is dead, and my favorite grandma, and my uncle killed both of them, and now he's in jail.
High school crush: Shit. Sorry about that.
Me: And my crush hasn't asked me out.
High school crush: Who is it?
Me: You.
Him: Goodbye (as he runs away and never comes back)
Me: Fuck that.
A young teen was walking home from school and having a nice day.
She gets home, eats, showers, and heads to her room. The young teen hears her mother say something. Not sure what she said, the girl replies with "ok."
The young teen was gonna head to bed, wondering when her mom was gonna come in and say goodnight. She lays in bed, but then she hears her mom's voice say, "Hunny, I'm home." She doesn't bother to say ok.
Later, when she decides to sleep, she gets a message from her mom saying to unlock the door, that she lost her keys. :)
Your hairline is so far back I learned about it in history class.
What did the soldier say when he saw a terrorist in a wheelchair?
"An RC-XD!"
What is the origin of the glory hole?
The origins can be found in San Francisco, California, where historians claim that a meat thermometer was sticking out of a hole from both sides, especially the divider between bathroom stalls inside the men's restroom used for an anonymous massage for gay men by gay men in San Francisco, CA, in the Wild West.
What does the F in "orphan" stand for?
"Family," but there is no F.
Yo momma's so fat, she rolled out the bed, out the room, down the stairs, smashed through the window, rolled down the road, and got stuck in the Grand Canyon.
Your momma's so fat, she farted in bed and blew the covers off.
Your momma's so fat, when she pulls her knickers down, her ass is still in 'em!
Anyone on this app is homeless and has no point in life. Well, I'm on this app 24/7, so do I have no point in life 24/7, or am I just weird and unwanted?
When Cincinnati played Alabama in 2021, they wore black at their funeral! 🤣
A cartoonist was found dead in his home.
The details are SKETCHY! :)
What's the difference between a Mexican and a frog?
One jumps in ponds, the other leaps over the border. :)
What do my balls and emos have in common?
...Nothing, they both hang themselves...
Also gehen Addison, Gwen und Bradley alle in eine Bar. Dann schreien sie alle an, sie sollen aufhören, Bier zu trinken, weil sie es nicht mögen. Dann schreien sie den Barkeeper an und sagen, er solle das Bier nicht verkaufen, weil sie es nicht mögen. Die Kunden lachen sie als Paviane aus.
Was machen Addison, Gwen und Bradley? Sie kommen auf diese Seite und argumentieren, dass Witze zu gemein sind, und weil sie sie nicht mögen, stoppen sie jeden, der sie als WITZ macht. Das Ende.
What do a priest and Christmas tree lights have in common?
They can both flash.
What do you tell a suicidal person when they complain about their problems to you?
Just hang in there, man.
What do nerds and chicks have in common? They both have four eyes.
A man goes to a doctor and says he's having problems shitting, so the doctor gives him an enema and says he needs to do it a few times at home, but does the first one for him. So the guy bends over the table, lubes him up, and shoves it deep in him, and he yells.
So later, the man goes home and tells his wife he needs her help with the enema. So he bends over, she lubes him up, puts a hand on his shoulder, and she shoves it up there, and he starts screaming and cussing, and the wife asks, "Did I hurt you?" He said, "No, I just realized when the doctor did it, he had both hands on my shoulders."