Infant jokes
How do you stop a baby from crying?
Throw a brick in its mouth.
What's the difference between a pile of babies and a Lamborghini?
I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage...
What do you call a baby in the shower? A baby in the shower.
There's a truck full of babies. What's worse than that? One baby being alive. What's worse than that? That baby having to eat its way out. What's worse than that? That same baby coming back from seconds.
How are infants and chocolate alike? They'll both kill your dog.
Memes
its so cute
What sits in the corner and gets smaller and smaller? A baby with a potato peeler.
What is the difference between a baby and a trampoline?
You take your shoes off to jump on one.
What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? You can't peanut butter your dick up a dead baby's ass.
What is round and squishy? A dead baby's head.
What's the grossest thing ever?
A bag of dead babies.
What's even more gross?
The bottom one is still wriggling!
What is the worst thing about licking a bald fanny?
Putting the nappy on afterwards.
Weenis long.
How do you get ten babies in a bucket?
With a blender.
Rock-a-bye dummy, in the tree top.
When the wind blows, the cradle will rock.
When the bough breaks, the cradle will fall.
Down will come dummy, cradle and all.
What do you call an infant with no legs?
Ground beef.
Baby 🍼
How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?
Depends how hard you can throw them.
"Dick me down shorts."
Why do babies cry? Cuz they can't suck very well.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them. XD