Infant jokes
When you were born your mother said, "Oh, what a treasure!" Your father said, "Yeah, let’s go bury it."
What's 2ft long, blue, and stiff and keeps a woman up all night?
Cot death.
How do you fit a baby in a glass?
A blender.
How do you get it out?
Explosives!
What’s red and cries?
A skinned baby in a bag of salt.
Q: What is the difference between a pizza and a baby?
A: The pizza does not scream when you put it in the oven.
Memes
DaBaby lol
What's better than one dead baby?
Two dead babies.
What do you call a baby with red curry fried hair?
A baby using a potato peeler and a comb.
What do you call a white kid looking at infants?
Pedophilia boy.
What’s 12 inch long, purple, and makes women scream??
Cot death!
What's the hardest part of eating bald pussy? Pulling the diapers back up when you're done!
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how big they are and how hard you throw them.
What's the best way to get ten babies in a bowl?
A blender.
What's the best way to get them out?
A blender.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them, with fuck.
What's small, brown and crispy?
A baby in an oven.
Noticing how wet and gentle the baby's mouth was on the bottle tip, this gave Uncle Willie an idea.
I have eaten 6 babies, 9 adolescent children, and 2 infants in the past week ;p
What does the Peanut Butter Baby say?
"Ah!"
Why can't you fool an aborted baby?
Because it wasn't born yesterday.
What cries, is red, and is a pokey boi?
The baby you just feed nails to.
What does a gas grenade and a baby have in common?
They both squeal when you throw them.