Infant jokes
What's worse than finding one dead baby in a bin? Finding one dead baby in five bins.
What has 4 legs, then 3 legs, then 2 legs, then 1 leg, then no legs?
A baby you cut one off each time.
What's worse than five babies stapled to one tree?
One baby stapled to five trees.
What's hard about walking through a bunch of dead babies?
My dick.
What's worse than a pile of dead babies?
One at the bottom that's still alive.
What's worse than that?
It's forced to eat its way out.
What's even worse than that?
It comes back for seconds.
the baby
What do you get when you throw a baby into the wheat thresher? An erection.
Weenis long.
Why do babies cry? Cuz they can't suck very well.
How many babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
More than 10, since my basement's still dark.
What's 10 inches and makes women scream?
Cot death!
How do you get 100 babies in the back of a pick up truck? Blender.
How do you get them back out? Straw.
I asked to switch seats on a plane because I was next to a crying baby.
Evidently that doesn't work if the baby is yours.
Why did the United Nations stop the french government from using the guillotine in public?
because the french government was using the guillotine in public on newborn baby boys for circumcision.
What is red and cries and spins around and around?
- A baby in a microwave.
What is round and squishy? A dead baby's head.
What do you call a baby in the shower? A baby in the shower.
I am a dead baby. -end joke-
How do I feed the baby with my pants on?
What does a baby and a hand grenade have in common?
They both make noise when you throw them.
What's worse than finding 10 babies in 10 dumpsters?
Finding 1 baby in 10 dumpsters.