Infant jokes
Baby (DYM 108).
How many babies does it take to paint the walls red?
Depends how hard you throw them.
Why did the baby cross the road?
It was stapled to the chicken.
How do you get 50 babies into a car?
You blend them.
When you were born your mother said, "Oh, what a treasure!" Your father said, "Yeah, let’s go bury it."
Memes
What's 2ft long, blue, and stiff and keeps a woman up all night?
Cot death.
How do you fit a baby in a glass?
A blender.
How do you get it out?
Explosives!
What’s red and cries?
A skinned baby in a bag of salt.
What do you call a white kid looking at infants?
Pedophilia boy.
What do you call a baby with red curry fried hair?
A baby using a potato peeler and a comb.
Q: What is the difference between a pizza and a baby?
A: The pizza does not scream when you put it in the oven.
What’s 12 inch long, purple, and makes women scream??
Cot death!
What's better than one dead baby?
Two dead babies.
What's the hardest part of eating bald pussy? Pulling the diapers back up when you're done!
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how big they are and how hard you throw them.
What's the best way to get ten babies in a bowl?
A blender.
What's the best way to get them out?
A blender.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them, with fuck.
Noticing how wet and gentle the baby's mouth was on the bottle tip, this gave Uncle Willie an idea.
What's small, brown and crispy?
A baby in an oven.
Why can't you fool an aborted baby?
Because it wasn't born yesterday.