Infant jokes
How do I feed the baby with my pants on?
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
What is red, bubbling, and scratching at a window?
A baby in the microwave.
What's red and white and lives in a blender?
A baby.
How many babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? More than 40 because my basement is still dark.
Ohio Baby
What do you call one baby in ten trashcans?
Chopped Junior!
What is blue and sits in a corner? A baby in a baggy.
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and a baby? The baby is still alive.
What has 4 legs, then 3 legs, then 2 legs, then 1 leg, then no legs?
A baby you cut one off each time.
I was about to make a baby joke but then decided to abort.
How many dead babies does it take to clean my refrigerator?.....it gotta be more than 4 because the fridge is still dirty.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how many you throw.
Má ég fara heim?
(In an infant-esque voice.)
Why do dead babies cry? Just kidding, they are dead.
When you have a box of dead babies in your garage and one of them is alive at the bottom and has to eat its way out but goes back for seconds.
Me, holding a baby: "Oh my God, it's so cute!"
Also me: "Throw it."
I have a saying. Whenever you find a sink, there's probably a dead baby inside it...
How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?
It depends how hard you throw them.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?
It depends on how hard you throw them.
What's 2ft long, blue, and stiff and keeps a woman up all night?
Cot death.