Infant jokes
What’s worse than five babies in a dumpster?
One baby in five dumpsters.
How do you get a baby to stop crying?
Simple... you staple its mouth shut.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
What is red, bubbling, and scratching at a window?
A baby in the microwave.
What's red and white and lives in a blender?
A baby.
Ohio Baby
What do you call one baby in ten trashcans?
Chopped Junior!
What is blue and sits in a corner? A baby in a baggy.
How many babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? More than 40 because my basement is still dark.
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and a baby? The baby is still alive.
What has 4 legs, then 3 legs, then 2 legs, then 1 leg, then no legs?
A baby you cut one off each time.
I was about to make a baby joke but then decided to abort.
How many dead babies does it take to clean my refrigerator?.....it gotta be more than 4 because the fridge is still dirty.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how many you throw.
Má ég fara heim?
(In an infant-esque voice.)
Me, holding a baby: "Oh my God, it's so cute!"
Also me: "Throw it."
I have a saying. Whenever you find a sink, there's probably a dead baby inside it...
When you have a box of dead babies in your garage and one of them is alive at the bottom and has to eat its way out but goes back for seconds.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?
It depends how hard you throw them.
Why do dead babies cry? Just kidding, they are dead.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?
It depends on how hard you throw them.