Infant jokes
How many babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? More than 40 because my basement is still dark.
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and a baby? The baby is still alive.
What has 4 legs, then 3 legs, then 2 legs, then 1 leg, then no legs?
A baby you cut one off each time.
I was about to make a baby joke but then decided to abort.
How many dead babies does it take to clean my refrigerator?.....it gotta be more than 4 because the fridge is still dirty.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how many you throw.
Má ég fara heim?
(In an infant-esque voice.)
I have a saying. Whenever you find a sink, there's probably a dead baby inside it...
How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?
It depends how hard you throw them.
Me, holding a baby: "Oh my God, it's so cute!"
Also me: "Throw it."
When you have a box of dead babies in your garage and one of them is alive at the bottom and has to eat its way out but goes back for seconds.
Why do dead babies cry? Just kidding, they are dead.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?
It depends on how hard you throw them.
What's worse than 100 dead babies in a skip?
The one that's still alive in the middle trying to eat its way out.
Baby (DYM 108).
Why did the baby cross the road?
It was stapled to the chicken.
How many babies does it take to paint the walls red?
Depends how hard you throw them.
What's 2ft long, blue, and stiff and keeps a woman up all night?
Cot death.
How do you get 50 babies into a car?
You blend them.
When you were born your mother said, "Oh, what a treasure!" Your father said, "Yeah, let’s go bury it."