Infant jokes
"What's worse than 10 dead babies stapled to a tree?"
"What?"
"1 dead baby stapled to 10 trees!"
Why can’t you ever trick an aborted baby?
Because it wasn’t born yesterday. 🤭
What did the 1.8 nanosecond old baby get for his birthday? Nailed to a puppy falling on a buzz saw being crushed in a hydraulic press while being set on fire.
What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? You can't peanut butter your dick up a dead baby's ass.
What’s the difference between a dumpster full of dead babies and a Lamborghini?
I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.
the baby
What's the best thing about dead baby jokes?
They never get old.
What's about 12 inches long, has a purple head, and can make women scream all night?
Cot death.
Q. What do you call a baby with anencephaly? A. Anything you want, it's not like it's gonna answer you.
What do you call a baby in the shower? A baby in the shower.
Why did Michael Jackson dangle his baby out the window?
He was airing his blanket.
What has 4 legs, then 3 legs, then 2 legs, then 1 leg, then no legs?
A baby you cut one off each time.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Well, it depends how hard you can throw.
How do I feed the baby with my pants on?
What is the difference between a baby and a trampoline?
You take your shoes off to jump on one.
What do you call a baby with red curry fried hair?
A baby using a potato peeler and a comb.
What's the difference between a Lambo and a pile of dead babies?
I don't have a Lambo in my garage.
What does a gas grenade and a baby have in common?
They both squeal when you throw them.
How to make a baby make funny faces?
Put it feet first in a blender.
What's worse than 100 dead babies in a skip?
The one that's still alive in the middle trying to eat its way out.
How do you fit 1000 babies in a swimming pool?
A blender.
How do you get them out? Slurp them up with a straw.