Infant

Infant Jokes

I asked to switch seats on a plane because I was next to a crying baby.

Evidently that doesn't work if the baby is yours.

What's worse than 2 dead babies in a trash bin? Two babies in one trash bin.

How do you fit 1000 babies in a swimming pool?

A blender.

How do you get them out? Slurp them up with a straw.

Poop poop poop poop poop poop pp ppppppppppppoppppppppppooooooooooooooooooooppppppppppoooooopppp children pooooooooooooooooop in diapers.

What's the difference between a sports car and a pile of dead babies?

I don't have a sports car in my garage.

A woman delivers a baby. The doctor takes the baby and throws it, smashing it around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc. The mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging, “WHYYYY!!??”. The doctor holds the baby upside down by the ankle and says, “I’m just fucking with you, it was born dead”.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall?

Depends on how hard you throw them.