Incest jokes

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You slept with my cousin but I did too.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to celebrate their marriage.

Nine months later, they happily had some use for their baby carriage.

Two years later, they went up again, then their daughter had a brother.

But one little secret that no one knew was that Jack and Jill share a mother.

What do you get if you cross diarrhea with incest?

I don't know.

Neither do I, but it runs in the family.

How does an Alabama mother know when her daughter is on her period? She can taste the blood on her son’s penis.

When you meet your gf at the family reunion.

Foreplay in may areas: "You awake?"

Way down South: "You awake, mom?"

Alabama.

Every time there's a family reunion, a baby is born 9 months later.

These days, dating life is hard. You put yourself out there, and it's hard to find someone. The only thing to do is turn to family.

My uncle and I have somewhat of an awkward relationship. At times I find him a bit hard to swallow.

My Dad pays a lot of attention to our household and has always had a good eye for detail. He was the one that first noticed that my mother and I have the same ring size.

People always ask what the secret of our family's happiness is. It is simple really.

1. Television and computer games are limited to a couple of hours each week.

2. We all give each other a hand when needed.

Last but not least, we play Twister.

My family is lucky I was born so smart. Every time my Dad is struggling at work, he always turns to me when he needs to get ahead.

Oh, brother!

Dad's secretary left her position, he told me I could take it if I want it. He also told me the job pays well but there is a lot to catch up on. He kept me under the pump all week.

Last Christmas was awesome, the whole family came.

The other day I started watching Game of Thrones.

I told my friend about it. Told him all about the violence, murder, decapitation, gore, sex, gay sex, midget sex, prostitution, rape, paedophilia, incest, and inbreeding... And he was like: "Oh, so you're still on the first episode then?"

When Kenney goes down on his mom, does he taste vegetable or fish?

What do you call children born from incest?

Gross Domestic Product.

What's the difference between your girlfriend and sister? Nothing if you're from Alabama.

So, I heard the CEO gave her daughter a really good spot in the company.

Everyone is mad, but I think it just goes to show that it pays to sleep with your boss.