Im jokes

The kid was a bit sad, so he was blue.

Teacher asked him, "Why are you so blue?"

The kid replied, "I'm not sad."

Teacher said, "No, your face actually blue."

Just saying this, but I hate how many little kids there are on this site, and when they post, they have the worst posts about "sex", so I'm just saying how they act immature.

Me, (AHAHAHA IM A JOKE AHAH Criii) Anyone wanna date? Lol.

Alright, I'm gonna drink the lo-carb one to see how it compares to the normal Monster.

Holy shit, it tastes just like the original one.

There's like a weird after taste though.

Kinda like a sparkling water one.

I love Monster. I've drank about 5 cans already.

What song does an orphan hate?...

"I'm so lonely."

So, I walked up to my grandma and I said, "What color would you be on a rainbow cupcake?" She just turned 61, ok, ok. So I'm like, "I got it, I got it, ok, ok." She's like: "Ok, what color?" I say: "Grey."

I asked my mom if I was adopted. She said no, "Why the fuck would I adopt you?" and I said "I'm gonna kill myself," and she also said, "Make sure you do it right this time."

My sister said I'm stupid today, and she's the one who wrote this.

Stephen could not click the "I'm not a robot" button, so I guess he is fucked.

Is your refrigerator running? "Yeah, I guess." Well, you better go catch it! Haha, I'm a girl, it's funny!

Is your body from McDonald's, because I'm loving it?

I was going to make a 9/11 joke, but I'm afraid it will crash and burn.

I'm dead inside.

I'll remember my last words... "Sorry, I'm not sorry!"

This is a big joke, so yeah, you can't tell me what to do. This joke is funny, so laugh, okay?

Now that you're done laughing, let me say a joke... Get it? There was no joke! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahhahhaha lololol so funny, I'm ninja!

How about that airplane food? I eat it when I'm high.

Freddy: I'm coming for you >:)

Me: God, no, help!

*game notification pops up with very loud sound*

Man: Why can't an orphan use Verizon?

Kid: Why?

Man: 'Cause they have a family plan.

Kid: Oh, then I need to switch phone services then.

Man: Why?

Kid: I'm an orphan.

Man: *laughs out loud* That's tough!

(You can tell the joke shortened by saying, "Why can't an orphan use Verizon? 'Cause they have a family plan.")

I'm Pastor Moe Mister, Moe Lester.

I am the Titanic, and I'm looking for a place to crash tonight.