If jokes

Minecraft

  • Minecraft YouTube, but I can sing Believer!

    YouTube, but I'm making a first video in YouTube.

    And I record all the Minecraft videos and upload.

    Ooohh! To try it and upload. Ooohh!

    I've been recorded to streaming, couple more sleeps to do the dreaming.

    I finally get to the stronghold, and if you told me, you told me, you told me, you told me.

    Place some more ender eyes, and it's time to big surprise.

    It's time to kill the ender dragon, go into the...

    END!

    Take that crystal, take that crystal, Believer, Believer!

    Knock him down, knock him down, Believer, Believer!

    Axe it's head, axe it's head.

    Axe it's head, defeat him.

    SUBSCRIBE!!!

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  • Kid

  • This isn’t a joke. Quiet kid jokes are so cliché. Like since when was there an original quiet kid joke like smh. Doesn’t help because I’m a quiet kid and people act as if I’m so dangerous and it’s like the only thing they say to me. Being judged as some big bad monster for being AN INTROVERT!! These jokes used to be funny to me, but now I’m just sick of them...

    Kettle

  • God promised John that if he came in 1st, he would get an eternal life, but instead he came in 5th and got a kettle!

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  • Roblox

  • Listen, if my mom sees me on Roblox at 3 a.m., she said she would bang my head against the keyboardndfndfnnckvnksdvknkdsfnvbfw.

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  • Orphan

  • You can't put an orphan on house arrest if there isn't a house to arrest them to.

    Mom

  • Once Jimmy was minding his own business, then he hears his mom come home. He asked, "Where have you been?" She replied with, "I was at work," yet he knew his mom did not have work. So the next day, while heading to school, he gets a phone call saying his mom is pregnant, and they want to try their device, and they need the baby's dad to say if it's alright.

    Hole

  • Shortly after the hole was finished, everyone in the forest was looking for long grass to fill the hole. The upper layer covered it with short grass and scattered some grass around the hole so it didn't seem as conspicuous. The next evening, the villagers hid in their houses and turned off the lights and waited inside, while one of the farmers stood outside and, if possible, unobtrusively skimped on a cart.

    Around midnight, the Headless Rider appeared with his horse in the village. He saw the seemingly single peasant scooping his hay and rode towards him. He was about to swing his axe, and while he was doing so, he overlooked the slightly more scattered grass near the farmer – and thus fell into the trap. He clumsily slumped into the prefabricated hole together with his horse and now lay there helplessly inside, together with his horse, which swayed in panic as the rider's axe was stuck in its back.

    When the villagers heard this, they all stormed out of the houses to surround the hole. They saw the Headless Rider, and when he noticed all the villagers around him, he cursed: “Gaaah! You stupid villagers caught me! I can't do much down here. I give up.” The villagers took his axe away from him. Now they only needed a just punishment for the rider.

    One of the villagers shouted: “We should tie him to a rope and hang him! He tried to kill us all and plagued us for a long time. So we should kill him and let him suffer for a long time!” The other villagers agreed with him. So they tied a thick rope to a branch of a large tree that stood in the village garden. The villagers took the Headless Rider out of the hole and dragged him to the rope. As they were about to hang the rope around his neck, they noticed that something didn't fit in their plan to hang the Headless Rider. Then the Headless Rider cried out: “You stupid mortals, I have no head at all! Why are you trying to hang me?”

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  • Orphan

  • In the new Grinch, the Whos would say he stole Christmas, "Get him!" Then the Grinch said, "I'm an orphan!" That changes everything. The Whos said, "What would they do if Max was an orphan?"

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  • Apple

  • If you drop an apple and an emo girl, who falls first?

    The apple, because the emo girl hung herself.

    Dad

  • Me: MOM, I'm tired.

    Mom: Take a nap.

    Me: No, I can't sleep if Dad isn't here.

    Mom: *hangs picture of dad on her room wall* Well, now you can.

    Boy

  • If there was a girl and a boy and the boy fell, what did the boy do to the girl?

    He fell for her.