If jokes

If I tell you, "Jesus is the trickster," am I, or is he?

What does one boob say to the other boob?

If we don’t get support, people will think we’re nuts.

If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I'd be broke.

(amazing pick up line) Yoo, what if we got matching tattoos? You get two towers and I get a plane, because I crashed right into your life!

Imagine working at the World Trade Center, only for Osama bin Laden to call and ask if he could crash at your place.

Teacher: "I'll call your mother."

Orphan: "Go on, see if she picks up."

Dear clothing websites, if it's out of stock, DO NOT ADVERTISE IT!

If you were to drop an emo and a leaf off a tree, who would hit the ground first?

The leaf, because the emo is always hanging.

How do you know if your sister's on her period?

Your dad's dick tastes funny.

What's worse than fingering your sister?

Finding your dad's wedding ring inside her.

How many hookers fit in a Cadillac?

About 4 in the trunk if you stack 'em right.

First of all, if a woman sues Bill Cosby for drugging and rape 50 years ago, and she could still remember it, it couldn't have been all bad.

How to tell if you're depressed? You came to a website called "worst jokes ever.com" looking for a quick smile.

I was in a motivational seminar about depression the other day, and she said I could be anything I wanted to be if I put my mind to it. Sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and do it, even if it's messy.

If you're here for a cheap laugh about suicide, I'll give you some real killer jokes!

Are you suicidal? Remember, if you ever feel unwanted, just check to see your warrants.

Why did the depressed person rob a bank? Because you're not killing yourself if a cop does it for you!

How do you tell if someone is depressed?

The brains on the wall.

Three men met on a nude beach. Two of the three men were happy, but the third was sad.

The three men broke into a conversation. The topic eventually reached the men's jobs, and why they were at the beach.

"I'm a construction worker," said the first man. "All year long I toil in the sun in very heavy clothes, so this seemed like the perfect vacation for me. If I can relax and do it naked, that's a win-win."

"I'm an accountant," said the second man. "I just like how everyone here is dressed exactly the same."

The first two men turned to the third, sad man. "What do you do?" they asked.

"I'm a pickpocket," said the third man. "My doctor sent me here."

Think about how many more girls we guys could get if we talked to them how we talk to other guys, like when they say, "Can I borrow a pencil?" You say, "You can borrow this hard wood dick."

Bro, if I die, I want to die blown up by 34 pounds of C4 at a furry convention.