If jokes
If lint comes from pockets, where does a cockroach come from?
Not sure if the Twin Towers were destroyed or if they were just purposely demolished. 🖐️😀
If you’re ever bored, then go outside and punch an orphan. Who are they going to tell, their parents?
Doesn't having depersonalization mean that you're like the animatronics off of FNAF/Five Nights at Freddy's?
(If you don't know what depersonalization is, look it up.)
If Hitler was a comedian, he would use laughing gas.
If you hit an orphan on the arm, what will he do? Tell his parents?
What do you get if you cross Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama? A blonde n1gger cunt.
Like if I am emo.
If you're cleaning a vacuum, aren't you the vacuum cleaner?
If you're waiting for a waiter at a restaurant, aren't you the waiter?
Isn't having depersonalization mean that you like the animatronics off of FNAF/Five Nights at Freddy's?
(If you don't know what depersonalization is, look it up.)
Why do trans women go by she/her?
Because if they went by her/she, they'd be Hershey's.
If I'm still single by Christmas, Santa won't be the only one jumping off a roof.
Like if you have nuts.
Like this if you're an American.
Or is she asking her son, "Do you know Newton?"
The boy said, "No, I don't know."
She said to him, "If you had paid attention to your lessons, you would have known him!"
The boy said, "Ok, do you know Ikhlod?"
She said to him, "No, who is she?"
He said to her, "If you had paid attention to your husband, you would have known her."
The important thing is that the boy is currently a week with his uncles and a week with his turbans.
Jesus and Moses come back to Earth.
Moses says, "Let's go down to the ocean and see if I can do what I used to when I was here before." So Moses raises his arms and motions to part the waters. Sure enough, he is able to part the waters just as before.
Jesus quips, "Close the water, I'm going to try to do what I used to when I was here last." So Jesus walks out on top of the water, then sinks to the bottom. He crawls out pulling seaweed off of him. Moses says, "Hey, it's not your fault, you didn't have those holes in your feet before."
"Chelsea is the most consistent team.
One win in August, one win in September, and one win in October; it's just like a menstrual cycle.
If they don't win in November, just know that they're pregnant." 😅
Today a child asked if I was an angel. I asked why, and he said, "Mommy says that angels have marks on their wrists because they don't want to be in this world."
If I was an object in this world, I’d be a glass! Because if you leave me when I’m too close to the edge, I will likely shatter and break.