If jokes

Motivational quote for today: if you think you're dumb, you're probably overestimating your intellectual abilities...

Motivational Quote for today: If you're feeling tired and ugly today, cheer up, you probably won't feel tired tomorrow morning...

Why is bacon called bacon and cookies called cookies if you cook bacon and bake cookies?

I asked Daveon if he ever considered trying something new, and he replied "why fix what ain't broke?"

If I had a dollar for every brain cell LEO has, I’d have one dollar.

I complained to my dad why he never took me to the zoo.

He said if they want you, they’ll come get you.

This was a few months ago. I used to help people load and unload inventory. One day I’m driving home after having lunch with my sister, and she asked if we can stop at the next gas station. I told her, "So you can weigh yourself on the truck scale?"

If I agreed with Leo, then that wouldn’t solve anything. It would just make BOTH of us dumb.

If only they had more mosquito nets in Africa, we could prevent millions of mosquitos dying needlessly of AIDS...

Q: What do a prostitute and a vacuum have in common?

A: If they stop sucking, you can smack them until they start again.

If stupidity was a superpower, BLESSEDBRIAN would be a MARVEL CHARACTER.

A blind man walks into a woman's bar and asks the person next to him if she would like to hear a blonde joke. The woman says, "Before you tell your joke, you should know the bartender is blonde and has a shotgun, the bouncer is blonde and has a baseball bat, the two playing music are blonde and have pistols. Do you still want to tell that joke, cowboy?" He thought for a second and said, "Not if I have to explain it five times."

If Slade were a vegetable, he’d be a BRUSSELS SPROUT... small, bitter, and NOBODY wants him at the table.