If jokes

If boys are like sports because they are easy to play, then girls are like a sandwich. They are nice at first, but they're crusty after.

What is the worst motivational thing to say to a suicidal person?

"If at first you don’t succeed, try again and again until you succeed."

If reincarnation is correct, if you die now, you can be reborn and live a second life. If you were born in Ukraine, you can immediately live a third life.

My fitness guru said that if I got raped, it would help me in future marathons.

Hey any riding with Biden fans out there?

I ran out of gas and could really use a ride so if one of ya'll can call me and pick me up that'd be great and I can't get gas because I only have 20 bucks which is like 1-5 and a half, help me please.

If there was a zombie apocalypse, girls would make a "forehead apocalypse" since it is so big.

I went to ask my friend's mom if I could have a sleepover.

Then I remembered they did not have a mom or dad.

Like this comment if: - Your mom is sus - Your mum is sus

Dislike if: - You are horny.

Listen, if my mom sees me on Roblox at 3 a.m., she said she would bang my head against the keyboardndfndfnnckvnksdvknkdsfnvbfw.

Bob: What is the percent of people who are depressed?

Me: If you're only counting me, 100%.

I asked my friend if they will show me something retarded. He said, "Go look in a mirror." I said, "Thank you."

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    • Little William punched Little Johnny in the face. Then Little Johnny says, "If you do that again, I'm gonna turn your fucking nuts into coconut juice."

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    • Me to an orphan: If you had a penny for everyone who loved you, I don't think you'd have any.

    The orphan: But why?

    Me: Because if someone loved you, they wouldn't have thrown you out.

    Why did Helen Keller’s dog run away?

    You’d run away too if your name was afjlkawihrs gdfn wjasidphbfvnas icxhuvbjsdlk m.nd;fuoxcghkfjckoSZ: lF,.XMAVUDOXICUGJNWLFXCMV CKLSAXHV IJADHXC;IVKSA.