If jokes
If she’s old enough to smoke, She’s old enough to choke.
If she’s old enough to pee, She’s old enough for me.
What's the difference between your girlfriend and sister? Nothing if you're from Alabama.
I heard a neat little trick you can use to have a public pool all to yourself. If you blow a whistle 3 times, everyone will just get out!
How many children can you fit in a box?
Maybe five if you have a trash compactor.
Sonic says if you're bored, go punch an orphan. I mean, what are they going to do, tell their parents?
If you kick an orphan, what are they gonna do? Tell their parents on you?
If an orphan takes a selfie, it is a family photo.
My wife and I have made a difficult choice and have decided we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.
This is not a joke, nor did I come up with it.
If somebody calls you ugly, just hug them and say, "Life must be hard for you since you have visual impairment!"
what's the worst thing to say to an emo?
if you don't succeed the first time, try try try again.
When I called the suicide hotline in Afghanistan, they got all excited and asked if I could fly a plane.
My mom said that being straight is good, but if you're straight, how do you walk? So I decided to be gay.
Once in 4th grade, right now, I told a random tree, "Hey, my day is bad right now, can we hang later?"
The tree said: "Yeah, we are going to be hanging every day :) !!! If you can last :)"
Why did the female orphan become a prostitute?
Because she wanted someone to call "daddy".
Yesterday I saw an orphan walking down the street. I asked him if he was ok. He said no, so I asked him if he needed help. And he said yes, so I let him in my car and said, "Don't worry, you'll be home with you parents soon." He said, "My parents died." I said, "I know...." I went for the cliffs.
If you're looking at this, then look behind you!
Yesterday I saw an orphan walking down the street. I asked him if he was ok. He said no, so I asked him if he needed help. And he said yes, so I let him in my car and said, "Don't worry, you'll be home with your parents soon." He said my parents died. I said I know.
If a man is willing to try his hardest to give you the moon and stars, then ladies, you should be willing to give up Uranus.
God died for your sins, so basically if you don't sin then Jesus died for nothing.
I have the brains of an old man and the heart of a child. If you don't believe me, I can pop my trunk.