Once a cheetah, always a cheetah.
Sally fell off the swing.
Sally has no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
My name is what orphans can never have.
Normal people: I'm my own nationality.
Michael Jackson: Click here to change nationality.
Best friend *holds a sign up that says "what gender are you?"*
Me: Uh, male?..
Best friend *then unfolds paper so it reads "what gender are you attracted to?"*
Me: You silly goose.
*Silence for like three seconds*
Me: Still male though-
They say people are 75% water But I’m 75% an orphan and 25% useless
why can't orphans have sex? They don't know who daddy is
I asked my new girlfriend how many men she’d had before me.
She said not to worry, she could count them all on one hand.
Unfortunately, this was when I noticed she’s holding her cell phone with a calculator app open. I took note of her wallet inside a picture of what appeared to be 10 guys. I asked and she said that’s my fam as well. I noticed an Alabama driver's license. I asked which one was her dad. She said that she doesn’t talk to him anymore because he had sex with the boss’s daughter. I casually asked what he did for work. Self-employed? She said that’s the last time I use ancestry.com!
Roses are red, the sky is blue, what do you do? Oh, never mind, I'm not homo like you.
The previous joke was by Sebastian Wittrock, but he put Miguel Roberts as the name.
I'm a nonbinary trash can.
Me on my way to the principal's office after the trans kid told me to act my age, so I told him to act his gender.
Your dick is so small they thought you were a girl when you came into the world.
When you send a dick pic and she sends one back,
I'm glad mine is the biggest, so I get to fuck my dad again.
Someone came to me and said, "Your dad is gay." I just said, "Wait. You know where my dad is? Please tell me!"
What’s the LGBTQ national anthem?
"Somewhere Over the Rainbow" by Harold Arlen.
The best way to tell a Hindu person and a Muslim person apart is asking them:
"Are you 7-Eleven or 9/11?"
What do you call it when a bunch of guys who look the same have an orgy?
A doppelgangbang.
nOnBiNaRy TrAsH
I had sex with twins. Well, I think it was twins. All my rage victims look alike.
