Identity jokes

My girlfriend's a porn star.

She'd kill me if she found out.

What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?

A family portrait.

Dario is gay.

Don't tell me to accept trannies for who they are when they can't even accept themselves for who they are.

What is depressed and gay? Me.

Bigfoot is just a normal person who covered himself in Pritt Stick and went down on Susan Boyle.

Moxxie: ThEy CaLlEd Me A pOsSuM!! i'M nOt A pOsSuM!!

I broke up with my RBLX gf, and I heard my uncle crying in the other room.

What do you call a black man in the army in camo? Incogneggo.

Who the heck is Kristie?

Are you bisexual...

Or are you hellosexual?

Me: Are you an orphan?

Boy: Yeah, what gave me away?

Me: ....ur parents.

Q: Do you know why transgender people are good at being carpenters?

A: Because they have more experience cutting off their wood.

My name.

I am cool.

Hahahahahahaha!

Why was your mom so into me?

'Cause she was the man.

I would name my daughter Awesome so I can tell people that I'm fucking awesome.

I think them homosexuals are rather gay.

"Knock Knock!" "Who's there?" "It's Dave!"

"Dave who?"

Dave bursts into tears, realizing that his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she no longer remembers him.

Me: tries to scan self at Walmart. I can't scan myself, wanna know why?

Alfred: Why?

Me: because I'm worthless... =)