Identities jokes

Identity

  • I saw an ad that said, "By the time this ad is over, two identities would have been stolen." So, I did what I had to do and skipped the ad! You're welcome to the two people's identities I saved!

  • 1
  • Stereotype

  • A white dude walks up to a Muslim and says, "So you're an Indian?" and the Muslim says, "No brotha, I'm not 7-Eleven, I'm 9/11."

  • 6
  • Hamster

  • When I was a kid, my hamster died, so my mum bought a new identical one, hoping I wouldn't notice. It didn't matter anyway, since I beat that one to death, too.

  • 3
  • Dog

  • My girlfriend’s dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one. But, unfortunately, it just made her more upset.

    She screamed at me, “What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?”

    Trash Can

  • "Can I throw you away? You look like my trash can. Oh, wait, you *are* my trash can."

    Dog

  • My girlfriend’s dog died, so I bought her another, identical one.

    She just screamed at me and said: “What am I meant to do with two dead dogs?!?”