My girlfriend’s dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one. It just made her more upset. She screamed at me, “What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?”
i saw identical twins. i threw a paper plane at them.
Why can't you solve a murder in Alabama?
All the DNA is identical and there are no dental records
What is the most common crime in China?
Identity fraud
My girlfriend’s dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one. It just made her more upset. She screamed at me and said, “What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?”
What do you call identical tall people? Twin Towers.
I was walking down the street when I saw my ex-girlfriend so I fuck her, turns out it was her identical twins that she never told me about. And I decided to confront her. So I did the next time I saw her but this time it was her Identical triplet. There 3 of them.... AND SHE NEVER BROUGHT THAT UP IN THE 7 YEARS I WAS DATING HER!
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
What is the most common crime in Asia? Identity fraud
My girlfriend's dog died, so to cheer her up I went out and got her an identical one. She went mad, "What am I going to do with two dead dogs?"
When I was a kid, my hamster died so my mum bought a new identical one, hoping I wouldn't notice. It didn't matter anyway, since I beat that one to death too
Louis day is Steven Hawkins identical twin
I saw an ad that said, "By the time this ad is over, two identities would have been stolen" So, I did what I had to do, and skipped the ad! You're welcome to the two people's identities I saved!
My girlfriend’s dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one. But, unfortunately, it just made her more upset. She screamed at me, “What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?”
My girlfriend’s dog died, so I bought her another, identical one. She just screamed at me and said: “What am I meant to do with two dead dogs?!?”
why did the orphan get arrested for identity theft.
He dressed up as batman for hollow ween.
you know what's so horrible about this website? when i mimic another person's account, the picture ALWAYS changes color. no more identity theft for me.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because the chicken had 4 chicks and a cheating hen who all sucked out all his money he got from his extremely boring job, and he finally got some peace for himself and was going to the local bar, which was on the other side of the road. He walked in the door, wings sagging, feathers catching on his claws. The bartender eyes him as he sits on a bar stool. "Chuck, how ya doin'? The missus doin' good?" "Just give me the hardest stuff you got. I'm done." This caught the bartender by surprise. "Chuck, come on, don't be sayin' that. Just look to the future and you'll be fine." "What future?" Chuck replied in a huff. "My wife and chicks are so goddamn pestering sometimes, you know? But if I leave, they'll all suffer, and I don't want that either. Oh, God, Phil, I don't know what to do." "You know, you've got a good heart for a rooster your age," Phil answered. "We need that in these parts. I'm tellin' ya, there will be more than what's happenin' right now, ya know, life's got all its gears turning for ya, and there's just a bit slow right now. The gears haven't been oiled in a while, but who's the only one who can fix that?" Chuck knew the answer. "Me." Phil returned with his drink. "McClucken's Whiskey, on the house." Chuck glanced at his glass. He held it up to the light. His face reflected in an aura around it, neither looking forward to the light and not backward, either. "No thanks, Phil," Chuck sighed, "But thanks anyways." He went to get up out of his chair. Phil called as he walked out the door, "Just remember to oil the gears every now and then, eh?" Chuck's comb flapped in a cool breeze brought in by the season. A bench was nearby, staring across to the other side. And he just sat there, sat there thinking. Cars blurred to a colorfully colorless nothingness as he thought in silence. He could see an open window in his mind, full of chickens: a sassy hen, two identical sportish chick; another, older than the two, and body bristling with blue comb-dye and the latest thing he watched online fresh on his Chickstagram page; finally, the first of the bunch, shy, bookish, with a secretly courageous soul. They all looked... worried, worried for the rooster who guided them, helped them grow, supported them... and all looking out of the window back at him. A single tear welled in Chuck's eye. The chicken walked back across the road to his family, to his friends, and to the life he was content with.
