Identities jokes

My girlfriend's dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one.

It just made her more upset. She screamed at me, "What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?"

What do you call 2 octopuses that look exactly the same? -- Identical.

I saw identical twins. I threw a paper plane at them.

Why can't you solve a murder in Alabama?

All the DNA is identical and there are no dental records.

My girlfriend's dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one. It just made her more upset. She screamed at me and said, "What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?"

What is the most common crime in China?

Identity fraud.

What do you call identical tall people? Twin Towers.

I was walking down the street when I saw my ex-girlfriend, so I fucked her. Turns out it was her identical twins that she never told me about.

And I decided to confront her. So I did the next time I saw her, but this time it was her identical triplet. There are 3 of them...

AND SHE NEVER BROUGHT THAT UP IN THE 7 YEARS I WAS DATING HER!

My girlfriend's dog died, so to cheer her up I went out and got her an identical one.

She went mad, "What am I going to do with two dead dogs?"

I would like to die like my Islamic father, in his sleep, but not like the rest of the people in the plane or those in those identical towers.

What do you call 2 octopuses that look the same? Identical!

Where does an octopus put its money? In an octo-purse!

What is the most common crime in Asia?

Identity fraud.

When I was a kid, my hamster died, so my mum bought a new identical one, hoping I wouldn't notice. It didn't matter anyway, since I beat that one to death, too.

Louis Day is Steven Hawkins' identical twin.

My girlfriend’s dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one. But, unfortunately, it just made her more upset.

She screamed at me, “What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?”

I saw an ad that said, "By the time this ad is over, two identities would have been stolen." So, I did what I had to do and skipped the ad! You're welcome to the two people's identities I saved!

My girlfriend’s dog died, so I bought her another, identical one.

She just screamed at me and said: “What am I meant to do with two dead dogs?!?”

Why did the orphan get arrested for identity theft?

He dressed up as Batman for Halloween.

Twin towers are like identical twins, and I threw a paper airplane.

You know what's so horrible about this website?

When I mimic another person's account, the picture ALWAYS changes color. No more identity theft for me.