Hurt jokes

When Canadians get hurt, they don't go "ouch," they go "ooch!"

Why I can’t be skinny? I hurt myself for fatting. - Jenny

Hello please I want gain wait. - Jenny year later.

My boyfriend always likes when I wear my fishnet sleeves. He says it looks great on me, but he doesn’t know that my skin is covered with scars... no one does. No one questions why I wear them everyday. I hope it stays like that because I can’t deal with my mom finding out that I still hurt myself.

I went to see my doctor today and I asked him how come every time I have sex my eyes hurt.

He said that’s a common reaction to pepper spray.

Hi, I'm Adopt, and you guys hurt my feelings. It is not God :(😔😞😔🥺. I'm just a kid. I'm 7.

"Babe, is it in?" "Yeah." "Does it hurt?" "Uh-huh." "Let me put it in slowly." "It still hurts." "Okay, let's try another shoe size."

Q. What do ghosts do when they get hurt?

A. They call an AmBOOlance.

I went to see my dentist, and she warned me it was going to hurt. Then, she told me she was having an affair with my husband. Good news though...the cleaning didn't hurt.

The longer the relationship, the longer the breakup will hurt you. Better break up now ooo.🤣

Guys, don’t let nobody hurt you with words.

Like someone once said, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”

Friend: Did your tattoos hurt?

Me: Nah, not really.

Friend: What did they feel like?

Me: 7th grade.

Friend: 😶😶😨😰😰😰😨

What hurts the most? 😹

A. Breaking up before chewing.

B. Breaking up after chewing.

A kid in a wheelchair got hurt yesterday. I got detention yesterday because I told him to walk it off.

My heart says to stop because it hurts.

Bro, chill. It's really not that deep.

A kid named Timmy said to his dad that he had sex with his teacher, and his dad was proud of him and gave him a bike.

The kid said, "I can't use it; my butt hurts!"

Son: Dad, I had sex for the first time.

Dad: Would you like to talk about it?

Son: Sure.

Dad: Sit down and let's talk about it.

Son: I can't, my butt hurts.

Someone said to stop hurting myself, but I'm still trying to cut my arms off.

What does a pumpkin need when it's hurt? A pumpkin patch.

Yah, hurtful towards you. Bro took it personally, literally.

These are not funny. Those that are adopted feel hurt by these!

You shall feel ashamed of yourself!

Take the L! - Losers