Hurt jokes

A guy went to the doctor and told him that whenever he drinks a cup of tea, his eye hurts. The doctor brought him a cup and asked him to drink. When he finished, the doctor told him: "From now on, take off the spoon."

Humpty Dumpty fell off the wall, his mom did a terri-fried call.

He got hurt in a egg-cident, and it never got eggs-elent.

When the eggs-plant was over, he got told to use the mower.

It happened too fast, he watched the very last.

Next he died, eaten all fried.

Person: I'd really like it if you'd stop saying my name all the time.

Random Person: Cheesus! That hurt!

Person: SERIOUSLY!?!?

Did you hear about the cannibal who passed a politician in the jungle yesterday?

I hear it hurt like hell.

What do you call Link when he is hurt?

A link to the cast.