The brain named itself, and when the brain realised that it named itseld, it was surprised.
But maybe, it was a spelling mistake and the brain wanted the name Brian. We all have a little Brian in us!
A dad tells his son “Stop masturbating! if you do it too long you will go blind.” The son replied “Dad, I’m over here.
Husband: “Honey, what’s the difference between a Ferrari and an erect*on?” Wife: “ok... what is it?” Husband: “I don’t have a Ferrari right now”.
My mom was cooking dinner and asked me if I could get her a cutting board
“No I need you to take off your shirt and lay on the island so I can cut some chicken”.
"Our teen has decreed we are the 'Worst Parents Ever.' We will hold our coronation ceremony to accept this honor next Friday. Invitations to follow."
How do you know if you’ve walked into a sex addicts counselling session? The psychologist will thank you for coming
Pilot: So Kobe, it seems like you’re not going to make it to your destination in time so I’m going to put it on autopilot so I can find a place to fill with gas.
Kobe: take us to the side of that mountain at full speed. I don’t really want to go to the event anymore.
I PUT THE FUN IN DYSFUNCTIONAL
Bitches be like "you're racist" You're right, and I gonna win
Knock, knock. (Whose there?) Your dad. (But my dads dead.) I know, just reminding you!
what do you call a rich Chinese person cha-ching
ask Siri what rich North Koreans are there
siri "I could not find anything for this question"
What is red, pink, and goes round and round?
A baby in a blender.
What is green, brown, and goes round and round?
The same baby 3 weeks later.
Teacher: Hey Timmy (the quiet kid) what comes after x The Quiet kid: splosion Teacher: What comes after A The Quiet kid: K-47 Teacher: faints
Your so brilliant and bright that the Sun wears sunglasses when you're near
What's the similarities between anonymous and a cow? I think you know...
What kind of man would be a lesbians best friend? A decimen.
i met a girl that was 6-5 and she fell on 9/11 and broke her arm, she really said ohh snap like a twin tower
how to cats relieve themselves in front of people? by licking their puss
Whats the difference between a catuce and a school bus. On a bus all the little pricks are on the inside.
