What's the difference between an onion and a hooker?
I cry when I chop up onions.
Humor
When two wheelchairs hit each other, is it a fender bender?
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because his wife changed the WiFi password.
This page could use more "butt quack" jokes.
A Down syndrome kid asks for an ice cream. The man asks, "Do you want sauce on it?"
The kid says, "It doesn’t matter, I’m going to drop it anyway!" 😂😂😂
What do a coin and an Irish man have in common?
They're both fun to flip off.
I went for a job interview today and the manager said, "We're looking for someone who is responsible."
"Well, I'm your man," I replied. "In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible."
The way you talk is so slow that they put you in the movie Fast and Furious and changed the title to Slow and Serious!!!😂😂😭
Why did Helen Keller ride a broken roller coaster?
She didn't see anything wrong with it.
Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head?
Because from a distance, they looked like hare.
In death, what is the only organ in a woman's body to remain warm?
My dick.
What place can you always find suicidal cows at?
"McDonald's."
What do you call a 3-sum with a girl with AIDS?
Nut in the butt.
What do kids and drugs have in common? I sell both of them.
A child asks his teacher to go to the toilet.
"Before you go, recite the alphabet," the teacher says.
"a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z"
"Good, but where's the p?"
"Running down my leg."
What do you call emos that live in the Bahamas?
Tropical depressions.
What’s the German word for BRA? Keep two from floppin'.
Are you a toaster? Because I want to take a bath with you.
How did the cow break up with the other cow? He said he moo-ved on.
Where was Moses when the lights went out? - In the dark!
I did so much research that I got bone-tired from doing this, tibia honest. You probably didn't find that humerus. I got a skeleton of these puns. I guess I could learn a femur puns. I was wondering if the creators of this site could talus how they come up with puns or maybe give some advice? I'm only 14 years old.
