BlessedBrian must have been born on April Fools’ Day... because he’s a joke every day of the year.

Beer Bottle: “You break me, you get one year of bad luck!”

Mirror: “You kiddin' me? You break me, then y'all get seven years of bad luck!”

Condom: “Hahaha...”

What is common with dark humor and unvaccinated kids?

Neither do ever grow old.

Leo must be a parking ticket... not because of the “fine” thing, nah, it’s because she’s OVERSTAYED her WELCOME.

BlessedBrian’s sense of humor is like a GPS without signal... LOST and going NOWHERE.

A blind man walks into a woman's bar and asks the person next to him if she would like to hear a blonde joke. The woman says, "Before you tell your joke, you should know the bartender is blonde and has a shotgun, the bouncer is blonde and has a baseball bat, the two playing music are blonde and have pistols. Do you still want to tell that joke, cowboy?" He thought for a second and said, "Not if I have to explain it five times."

I’ve seen more life in a bowl of WEEK-OLD GUACAMOLE than in BLESSEDBRIAN’S jokes.

I’m trying to see things from LEO’S perspective... but I just can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.