Hows jokes
How come Mr. Squirrel watches porn sometimes?
Sometimes he feels like a nut, sometimes he don't.
How does an emo greet people?
“What’s down?”
How do you make Prince Andrew sad? You tell him you're over 16.
How many Polish people does it take to change a light bulb?
One. But you need 5000 Soviet troops in case he goes on strike!
How do you keep a Biden supporter in suspense?
...
How have you been recently?
Oh, just playing some Rhydon.
What’s Rhydon?
Rhydon deez nutz!
Two lepers meet on the street.
First says "How are you doing?"
Second says "Mustn't crumble!"
In an alternate universe: I don't know how to solve the power of 10, but I do know how to pay taxes.
Q: How would a chicken leave?
A: Through the exit.
My mom said that being straight is good, but if you're straight, how do you walk? So I decided to be gay.
How do you win an argument against an emo kid?
Kick the chair out from under them.
How do astronauts have a party?
They planet.
1: Hey.
2: What?
1: We're outta paint.
2: *HMM*
(And that's how stop signs have extra paint.)
For all those Simpsons fans out there, this one I'm sure you know:
Abe: "It's rotten being old. No one listens to you."
Lisa: "It's awful being a kid. No one listens to you."
Homer: "I'm a white male, aged 18-49. Everyone listens to me--no matter how dumb my suggestions are."
According to unofficial sources, a new simplified income-tax form contains only four lines:
1. What was your income for the year?
2. What were your expenses?
3. How much have you left?
4. Send it in.
Your loved one dies and you call the Coroner's office. They answer, "Hello, this is Benny from the Coroner's office, you stab 'em, we slab 'em, how may I be of service?"
How does an orphan call his parents?
"..."
How do you make a child’s parents happy?
Put the child to sleep.
"Hey, Firesharky... How did you know if I was your brother when I'm not? You didn't even say my name, and plus, I'm lying about my name."
Man 1: Knock knock.
Man 2: Who's there?
Man 1: Ice.
Man 2: Ice who?
Man 1: I crushed your head.