how do you fit 100 babies in a bowl? a blender. how do you get them out? tortilla chips.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
How to complement a depressed person: I like your cuts g
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When a family friend passed away, my granddaughter took her three-year-old son to visit the widow. As they approached the front door, she whispered to the boy, “Make sure to tell her how sorry you are.”
He whispered back, “Why? I didn’t kill him.”
A German, an Australian, and a Mexican are on a plane. They say that they can tell where they are by sticking their hands out of the pane.
The German sticks his hand out and says "We are in Germany." The others ask, "How do you know," the German says, "Because it's so cold."
Then the Australian sticks his hand out and says "We are in Australia," the others ask "How do you know," he replies "Because it's so warm."
Then the Mexican sticks his hand out and back in. He says " We are in Mexico," the others ask "How do you know," he says " Because my watch is gone"
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
how do you pet a psychopaths cat?
you get it out of the microwave
Girl: how much do you love me Me: count the stars in the sky Girl awww it’s infinite Me no just a waste of time
Business Interview With Depression Inside my brain...
Me: So... You're new? Depression: (I don't know who he is yet) mHMMMmmm! Me: Well what are your skills? Depression: Oh, taking control and leading... You know... Me: What are you trying out for? Depression: Oh, Vice Leader of Negative Thoughts. Me: Well we do need someone over there- for somewhat reason nobody wanted that job... Me: How did you know about us? Depression: Oh- I knew because of Anxiety, you know, we're friends! Me: Interesting... (Still has no idea about Anxiety and it's problemos) Me: Well I think you're signed up! I'll give you the job! Depression: tHaNKS :)
AND THATS HOW MY LIFE GOT DESTROYED :]
My girlfriend and I often laugh about how competitive we are... But I laugh more.
How does a cow become invisible? -- Through camooflage.
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How do you make someone in Africa disappointed
Sing raindrops keep falling on my head
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How do you know when Helen Keller is home? Answer; When you hear somebody falling down the stairs!
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How do you make an octopus laugh?
You give it ten-tickles.
How is spinach like anal sex?
If you were forced to have it as a child, you probably won't like it as an adult.
