Hows jokes
How does a rapper make a burrito?
With WRAPPING paper, DUUUHHHHHH!
If I have ligma and you have ligma, how about you ligma balls? 😏 (It’s all about how you pronounce the end.)
Q: How do you know when Putin is lying?
A: His lips move.
How do we know the Ancient Egyptians were into organized crime?
They were always using pyramid schemes!
How do skeletons talk to each other? By the telebone.
How do flat-earthers travel?
On a plane.
How do blind people know when to stop wiping?
With a taste test.
Hii! Oh my gosh. It has been forever! How have you guys been? Comment your favorite movie!!!! <3
If a gay person is vegan, how does he have sex? He will keep getting meat stuck in his ass and in his throat.
How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood?
His hand caught on fire.
How many apples can you grow on a tree? All of them.
Friend 1: How come when you say "apart" your lips move apart, but when you say "together" they move apart?
Me: Maybe your lips want a divorce.
How do rappers stay cool?
They use RAP-SICLES.
How did "Bloody Mary" become a thing?
Because her husband beat her bloody when she didn't stay in the kitchen.
Roses are red... blood is too... I wonder how blood would look on you.
Gf: Babe, do you love me?
Bf: Count the stars and that's how much I love you.
Gf: But it's morning, sweetie...
Bf: Exactly.
Gf: :0, I'll take that as a no.
How can you tell if a Polish woman is on the rag? One of her socks is missing!
What danger does this put them in? Toxic Sock Syndrome!
Mom: Anna, let your younger brother have the sled one half of the time, and you the other half. That way it will all be fair, and I don't have to put up with this crying. I've already got seven others to take care of.
Anna: I do, Mom. I have Fred (younger brother) go up, and I go down!
Mom: Good. Now how 'bout the rest of you go play outside? It's beautiful out there! It's the warmest it's been all year, 45 degrees below 0!
Kids: Wow! I never thought it would warm up! I love Alaska!
How do you kill a sheep?
You lamb shank it!
How does a rapper apologize?
With a rap-ology!