Howe jokes
How do you fit a whale inside a car? A blender.
How do you measure the circumference of Uranus?
By the rings around it.
Q: How do you make a fire?
A: Oil and dead babies.
How do you make a hormone?
Don't pay her.
My mom showed me that she could deep throat a banana. I asked how you know how to do that. My mom said, "I practice on your stepfather."
Memes
How do you make any salad a Caesar salad?
Stab it 23 times!
How to get rich:
Step 1: Tell an orphan he will get a family.
Step 2: Knock out the orphan.
Step 3: Cut open the orphan.
Step 4: Well there [are] organs.
Step 5: Do it again.
And nobody will call the cops 'cause they got no family.
How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw spoons at her.
How many dead babies does it take to clean my refrigerator?.....it gotta be more than 4 because the fridge is still dirty.
How do you become with NATO? Promise no more world wars by secretly performing military practices behind their back.
We got Spider-Man Homecoming, Spider-Man Far from Home, then Spider-Man No Way Home, considering society’s current state and how shitty 2023 is, the next movie is probably gonna be Spider-Man Homosexual.
How did the blind girl get a date?
She said it was love at first sight.
How can you tell when your sister is on her period?
Your dad's knob tastes funny.
How did the skeleton know it was going to rain? He read the weather forecast, you fucking idiot!
How do you eat a meat?
You steak it in your mouth.
There were 500 bricks on a plane. One fell off.
Little Sally was crossing a river full of crocodiles. How did she survive the river? She had a gun. When she got out of the river, she died. Why? Because a brick fell on her head.
How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
More than 9 because my basement is still dark.
How many guns can an octopus hold?
9
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how many you throw.
When Stephen Hawking entered Heaven and met with the Lord, after a short interview God asked: "Hey Stephen, I need you to explain to me how does all this stuff work?"