Howe Jokes

Three men walk into a bar. The 1st says, "Hey, how's it going?" The 2nd one says, "Great!" But then the 3rd man says, "Hello, where did my wife go? I swear she was just here!" What happened to the 3rd guy's wife?

How to make emo cakes:

Milk Butter Eggs Sugar We're Going Down Swinging!

If a gay person is vegan, how does he have sex? He will keep getting meat stuck in his ass and in his throat.

How do you f**k a duck?

Usually duck a f**k.

How do you say “Yes, you look good” in Spanish?

– Sí...

See deez nuts!

A screenshot of two tweets. The first tweet asks whether Tarzan was a virgin before he met Jane, or if he "beat gorilla cheeks." The second tweet is a reply showing a Google search bar with the text "How to delete someone else's tweet."

You have five seconds to kill me. 1... 2... 3... 4... Thank you. I can rest now. WAIT, HOW AM I TALKING?????????????????????

*walks into a comedy night club* Owner: "You're doing standup tonight, right?" Noob Joker (you): "Yes, I am!" Owner: "Get onto the stage." Me: *walks up stage* Owner: "This is the standup comedian noobpro." Me: "Hey guys, how about some Donald Trump?" Crowd: *RUNS*

How you know it’s her time in MJ's house?

When the big hand touches the little hand.

Luke asks his friend, "How old is your father?"

James replied, "He's as old as me."

Luke then said, "It doesn't make any sense."

James then said, "He became my father when I was born."

How can you buy emos? Just use their bar code.

Um, I need help. How should I deal with depression?

Joke: I wish my grass was emo, so it would cut itself.

How many beans are there in Irish chili?

Answer: 239

Why are there two hundred and thirty-nine?

Answer: (spoken in Irish Brogues) Because if you add one more, it'd be "two farty."

Me: How do you say yes in Spanish? You: Si. Me: Si if these nuts fit in your mouth.

How do Chinese people name their kids?

They throw pots and pans down the stairs.

How do you cause an African parade?

You just carry a water bottle around and hold it up!

Yo mama's so stupid, she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.

Whenever someone calls me ugly, I get super sad and hug them, because I know how tough life is for the visually impaired.

Mummy, how was I born?

Mummy replied, "Well, your father and I got married, and soon I became fat and you came out, and then in, out, in, out, and after you did that a million times, you were born."