How Many jokes
How many times do you tickle an octopus to get it to laugh?
Ten-tickles!
There are 5 cats on a boat, and 1 jumps off. How many are left?
Zero, they were copycats.
How many babies does it take to make dinner?
Three to four; there's not a lot of meat on them.
How many dead babies does it take to paint my room?
It depends how many bullets you have.
How many Quebecers does it take to change a lightbulb?
4!
One to hold the bulb, two to turn the chair he's standing on, and one to sing "Alouette, gentille alouette!"
How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?
Well, it's not 8 because my basement is still dark.
How many animals can jump higher than a skyscraper? -- All of them, skyscrapers can't jump.
I was going to buy a pocket calculator. But then I thought, who cares how many pockets I have?
How many ears does Captain Picard have?
Three: A left ear, a right ear, and a final front-ear.
How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb? -- One. They are efficient and don't have humor.
I asked a Scottish friend of mine how many sexual partners he'd had. He started counting, but fell asleep.
"Chuck? How many push-ups can you do?" -- "All of them."
How many babies do you need to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
Ten tickles.
How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None, that's a hardware problem.
How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
To get to the other side!
How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
It's some weird number. You probably never heard of it.
How many dead prostitutes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
More than three because the basement is still dark!
How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Just Juan.