How many dead babies does it take to paint my room?
It depends how many bullets you have.
How many Quebecers does it take to change a lightbulb?
4!
One to hold the bulb, two to turn the chair he's standing on, and one to sing "Alouette, gentille alouette!"
How many dead baby's does it take to change a light bulb?
Well It's not 8 because my basement is still dark
How many animals can jump higher than a skyscraper? -- All of them, skyscrapers can't jump.
I was going to buy a pocket calculator. But then I thought, who cares how many pockets I have?
How many ears does Captain Picard have?
Three: A left ear, a right ear, and a final front-ear.
How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb? -- One. They are efficient and don't have humor.
I asked a Scottish friend of mine how many sexual partners he'd had. He started counting, but fell asleep.
"Chuck? How many push-ups can you do?" -- "All of them."
How many babies do you need to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
Ten tickles.
How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None, that's a hardware problem.
How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
To get to the other side!
How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
It's some weird number. You probably never heard of it.
How many dead prostitutes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
More than three because the basement is still dark!
How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Just Juan.
