How Many

How Many jokes

How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? Depends on how thin you slice them. -Hope Marie Lawson

  • 0
  • There are 5 cats on a boat, and 1 jumps off. How many are left?

    Zero, they were copycats.

    How many babies does it take to make dinner?

    Three to four; there's not a lot of meat on them.

  • 3
  • How many dead babies does it take to paint my room?

    It depends how many bullets you have.

  • 2
  • How many Quebecers does it take to change a lightbulb?

    4!

    One to hold the bulb, two to turn the chair he's standing on, and one to sing "Alouette, gentille alouette!"

    How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?

    Well, it's not 8 because my basement is still dark.

    How many animals can jump higher than a skyscraper? -- All of them, skyscrapers can't jump.

    I was going to buy a pocket calculator. But then I thought, who cares how many pockets I have?

  • 1
  • 1
  • How many ears does Captain Picard have?

    Three: A left ear, a right ear, and a final front-ear.

    How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb? -- One. They are efficient and don't have humor.

  • 0
  • 1
  • I asked a Scottish friend of mine how many sexual partners he'd had. He started counting, but fell asleep.

  • 0
  • How many babies do you need to paint a wall?

    Depends on how hard you throw them.

  • 0
  • How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?

    None, that's a hardware problem.

    How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

    To get to the other side!

  • 1
  • How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

    It's some weird number. You probably never heard of it.