Are you a haunted house? Because I’m going to scream when I’m in you! 😫
What record did Obama prove during his presidency?
No matter how far a brotha gets in life, he'll still be in government housing.
Why are orphans so bad at poker?
They don’t know what a full house looks like.
"Mommy, mommy, where's my school dress... ewww!"
"Shut up and leave the bedroom."
Why can't orphans walk through doors?
Because they don't have a house to walk into.
How do I fix a broken light bulb? I don't. I simply blow up the house.
So I was at a restaurant and I really hit it off with the waitress, so one thing led to another and I'm at her place and she was really nice at the IHOP but when I was there with her she was all like "ahhh! what are you doing!?!?!? how did you get in my house?!?!?" and then she punched me and I'm the one who ended up in prison.
An American and a Russian are talking. The American says, "We in America have the best democracy. We can stand in front of the White House and shout with impunity: \"The American President is a moron!\""
"We can do that too," says the Russian, walking with the American to the Kremlin and shouting: "The American President is a moron!"
Your mama so ugly, when Santa Claus came to her house and saw her, he said, "HO HO HOLY SHIT THAT'S ONE UGLY BITCH!"
So, some ants in a colony go to war. They want some more troops and know that there are ants that went to wars as well. They call them war-ants.
They start barging into homes to search for more war-ants. They barge into a home, and the lady-ant goes, "Hey, why are you here? Can you please leave?" One of the ants replies with, "I'm sorry, but unless you have a war-ant, we have to keep searching your house."
What did the orphan's friend give him for his birthday?
Lego, so he can build a home.
In my house, good sex sounds like seals slapping each other.
Earth is full. Go home!
Why did the serial killer cross the road? To get to the victim's house.
Knock, knock. Who's there? The serial killer.
What do you call an orphan home alone?
A family reunion.
You: Find a time clock that can change time.
Your friend the next day: Hey, can I borrow yo' house?
You: No, I'm trying to figure out what to do with my TIME!
Also you: Changes the time back to 1267 so you don't have to have that friend again.
My mom told me that she got a new job & I don't have to leave the house.
Then my mom told all my customers are the men that live in our neighborhood.
Then I ask what is your job call. My mom said job hand, then I said job and or is hand job.
My mom said yeah that it. My mom said I'm good at my job that why all the males are always knocking at the door.
I asked my orphan friend to come to my house. He said he was confused because he didn't know what that is.
I made a house for orphans and...
they had no clue how to use it.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
