Horse jokes

What do you get when you cross a chicken and a horse?

An animal abuse warrant.

The other day while I was going down on my grandma, I thought I tasted a little horse semen and I got to wondering if maybe that’s what killed her!

What's got 4 legs and is stronger than Superman?

Christopher Reeve's horse.

What’s the difference between a Canadian and a unicorn?

Nothing, they’re both mythical creatures.

What do you call a Pegasus that is being sus?

A megasus!

Q: What do gay horses say?

A: "Geigh!"

Are you a horse, because I want to ride you?

What did the horses say to the donkeys?

"Jackasses, please like!"

Why couldn't the horse give out a speech?

Option one: Horses can't speak at all.

Option two: His voice was a little *hoarse*.

What do you call a happy cowboy? A jolly rancher.

A "monster" that has 2 heads, 2 bodies, 6 feet, why am I not afraid of the "monster"? It's my dad riding a horse.

What 16 stoner rode a Derby winner?

Lester Piggott's.

Person: "My pony is crazy; it's always horsing around."

What did the horse say when his throat was sore?

I have a hoarse throat!

Your mom smells so bad she could stun a horse in a field.

She asked me if I was hung like a horse, but I said no.

I'm hung like a person who wants to die, but then the rope broke.

Why did the cow smell?

'Cause the horse gave it a pat on the back.

So there was this girl and her horse would not stop following her, so she said, "Stop horsing around!"

Get it? "Horse-ing."

What is the definition of polish sausage?

🐴🍖 Horse meat.

What is the difference between a horse and a rabbit?

A horse can't hoop.