Hoof

Hoof jokes

Cow

Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? -- Because they lactose.

Camel

The little camel asks his mother: "Mum, why do we have these big humps?"

"Because in these humps there is some water, and in the hot desert we can drink."

"And Mum, why do we have this large fur?"

"Because the desert at night is so cold, and then we don’t feel cold."

"And Mum, why do we got these big hoofs?"

"Because the desert sand is hot, and the hoofs save us from the hot sand."

"But Mum, what the fuck are we doing here in the national zoo?"

Deer

What do you call a deer with hooves in his ears?

Anything you want—he can’t hear you.

Memes

Cow

What's a cow's strongest part of their body?

Their "calves"!

Giraffe

Did you know the giraffe’s hooves are the size of dinner plates? Too bad they would have nothing to put on them!

Dick

What do five dicks sticking out of glory holes and five udders both have in common? They are ready for milking.

  • 4
  • Flamingo

    My boyfriend told me to stop acting like a flamingo. So I had to put my foot down.

  • 1
  • Horse

    A horse walks into a bar.

    Several of the patrons quickly get up and leave, realizing the potential danger in the situation.

    Horse

    Two horses are standing in a field. "I'm so hungry I could eat a horse," says the first.

    "Moo!" says the second.

  • 1
  • Cowgirl

    What do you call it when a drunk cowgirl falls off her stool at the bar?

    A hoedown.