A guy walks up to me and says, "I wonder if the hookman is real?"
I reply saying, "Yeah, it's Asa Hutchinson, lol."
Horror Jokes
Your mama so fat, when Pennywise said, "We all float down here," he saw her and suddenly knew he was mistaken.
There's a new horror movie about Stephen Hawking.
It's called "Unplugged!"
What is scarier than a pile of dead babies?
The bottom one ate its way out!
People shouldn’t be afraid during a zombie apocalypse.
They can stay in their living room.
What's worse than a truck full of dead babies? One alive at the bottom.
What's the grossest thing ever?
A bag of dead babies.
What's even more gross?
The bottom one is still wriggling!
So a woman was paranoid, so she had a dog to check to see if anything was wrong. She would always stick her hand under the bed, and if the dog licked her hand, then she was safe. One night, just before bed, she stuck her hand under the bed. She felt a lick, so she went to bed. In the middle of the night, she needed to go to the bathroom. So, she walked into the bathroom, and on the window, it said: "HUMANS CAN LICK TOO!" Then she was murdered.
There's a truck full of babies. What's worse than that? One baby being alive. What's worse than that? That baby having to eat its way out. What's worse than that? That same baby coming back from seconds.
What's worse than 2 dead babies in a trash bin? Two babies in one trash bin.
Q: What is the difference between a pizza and a baby?
A: The pizza does not scream when you put it in the oven.
What's better than a pile of dead babies?
One that's alive in the middle that has to eat its way out.
I don't understand why in horror movies they make digging a grave look so easy. It usually takes me days.
New horror movie idea.
The main character loves anime. The killer yells "Omae wa mou shindeiru." The main character instinctively yells back "NANI???" and is killed.
Why could the zombie not clap? Because it was dead, duh!
What's worse than ten dead babies nailed to one tree?
One dead baby nailed to ten trees.
What did the skeleton say when the other skeleton lied to him?
"You can't lie to me! I can see right through you!"
What do you get when you put a baby in a box of razor blades and throw it down the stairs?
An erection!
What do you call a zombie?
Nothing because zombies aren’t real, and if they were, you would be dead.
What's worse than 3 babies in one trashcan?
One baby in three trashcans.
