Horror jokes
What did the skeleton say when the other skeleton lied to him?
"You can't lie to me! I can see right through you!"
What do you get when you put a baby in a box of razor blades and throw it down the stairs?
An erection!
What do you call a zombie?
Nothing because zombies aren’t real, and if they were, you would be dead.
What's worse than 3 babies in one trashcan?
One baby in three trashcans.
What's worse than a pile of dead babies?
One at the bottom that's still alive.
What's worse than that?
It's forced to eat its way out.
What's even worse than that?
It comes back for seconds.
What's the difference between putting a baby and a pizza in an oven?
The pizza doesn't scream in the oven.
I love how in horror movies the person calls out, "Hello," as if the psycho will answer, "Hey, what's up? I'm in the kitchen. Want a sandwich?"
What's worse than waking up with a dead baby next to you?
Realizing you were so drunk that you made love to it the night before...
Did you hear about the new Exorcist movie? The Devil came to get the Priest out of the child.
What's the most horrifying video in the world?
Logan Paul vlogs.
Wanna hear something bad? A pile of dead babies.
Wanna hear something worse? The one at the bottom is still alive.
Wanna hear something worse than that? He has to eat his way out.
Wanna hear something that's the worst? He comes back for seconds.
Yo mama is so ugly, she gave Michael Myers nightmares.
What's terrible? Three dead babies nailed to one tree.
What's worse than that? One dead baby nailed to three trees.
If Stephen Hawking was in a horror movie, would he make his robot try and shout, "Aaaaaaaah! Help me, I can't move! I'm too scared!"?
What is a vampire’s favorite fruit?
A nectarine.
When you have a box of dead babies in your garage and one of them is alive at the bottom and has to eat its way out but goes back for seconds.
I saw Stephen Hawking using an ATM. It is nice to see he had found someone before he shut down.
What does Stephen King call his wife...
The black hole.
What is worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies.
What's worse than that? The one at the bottom is still alive.
What is worse still? It has to eat its way out.
What's worse than that? It went back for seconds.
How many babies does it take to light up a basement?
I don't know, my basement is still dark.