Hooker jokes
Do you know the best thing about killing a hooker?
Not only do you get your money back, but the second hour is free.
What's the difference between the woods and a hooker?
Some hookers have passions for nature. Other hookers will Kill ThEIR Tricks for payback!!!!!!
Hookers are like drive-thrus; you tell them what you want, pay for your stuff, and leave.
What do you call a dead hooker?
It doesn't matter, she won't answer you.
What do you call a school shooting survivor who grows up to be a prostitute on the West Coast?
A Sandy Hooker
What kind of person will steal Captain Hook's hook?
Answer: A hooker.
What’s the difference between Jesus and a hooker?
The look on their face when you're nailing them.
What do hookers and porn stars have in common? They get paid for sex and get STD's.
Kenney lost his virginity to a $10 hooker, but he only had to pay $5. She was his sister, so he got the family discount.
What did the hooker say when she found out the cash she was paid with for services rendered was counterfeit?
I've been raped!
What's the best thing about a dead hooker? Refunds.
What's the difference between a club and a bar?
I can only get dead hookers from the club alleyways.
So my dad walks into a bar and there was a hooker and a child. I was with him and they both approached us and they said only £50 for head but it was a little weird that the child was talking to my dad and the hooker was talking to me. I was about to say something but my dad pushed me over and my friend's uncle killed my dad.
The kid was never seen again. Her name was Madeleine McCann. I think I'm the only one who knows where she is, but overall the head from the hooker was good.
What’s the difference between a nun and a hooker?
One kneels for salvation.
The other kneels with salivation.
Why can't you kill a hooker?
Because they're dead inside anyway.
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?
A hooker can wash her crack and resell it.
Who remembers when ‘tweeting’ meant “stabbing a hooker”?
What's the difference between a dead hooker and a watermelon?
The watermelon didn't scream when I sliced it.
A husband and wife get into a fight. The wife says, "Go blow off some steam. I’ll let you fuck a hooker." So he does that, comes back, and says, "I’m off the hook now!"
I once asked a sketchy man at a bar for some relationship advice. He simply replied, "They're all dead hookers once they're in the trunk."