Hooker Jokes

Do you know the best thing about killing a hooker? Not only do you get your money back, but, the second hour is free.

what shoes do pedofiles wear? White vans. How do pedofiles fit in? They force it to go in. How do you make a 16 mm hole into a 40 mm hole? A pedofile comes in. What did Santa say when he was passing over some hookers? "Ho ho ho!"

Hookers are like drive thrus you tell them what you want, pay for your shit, and leave

What’s the difference between Jesus and a hooker?

The look on their face when your nailing them

What's the difference between a hooker and a burrito? I don't eat burritos

what do a fisherman and a prostitute have in common

they're both hookers

What's the difference between a club and a bar?

I can only get dead hookers from the club alleyways.

What do you call a school shooting survivor who grows up to be a prostitute on the West Coast?

A Sandy Hooker

what does the sign say on the hooker house say afterwards they were on lockdown? A. We're on lockdown get lost pervert.

how many hookers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Must be more than 9 because my basement is still dark.

Why can happen if you bring a hooker in a stranger's house he will ask you really are you nuts?

i will give you a nickle if you tickle my nickle pickle rick

Kenney lost his virginity to a $10 hooker but he only had to pay $5. She was his sister so her got the family discount.

A man and a woman get married. The woman was Retired hooker. The man was a poet. The man said as they did 69, you taste better than my most delecious gormet meal. The woman said, well you aren’t too bad either. But the best 69 I’ve gotten and given was harry. He did it for 24 hours nonstop. They dot divorced that night.

so my dad walks into a bar and there was a hooker and a child i was with him and they both approached us and they said only £50 for head but it was a little weird that the child was talking to my dad and the hooker was talking to me i was about to say something but my dad pushed me over and my friends uncle killed my dad . the kid was never seen again . her name was Madeleine McCann i think im the only one who knows where she is but overall the head from the hooker was good

Q: What do Moses and hookers have in common?

A: They've dealt with a burning bush

My girlfriend left me today for spending my own money. What a bitch I spend a fair amount of money on her for her clothes and airforces but as soon as I spend a $100 on hookers she leaves me