Hooker jokes
What is the difference between a nun and a hooker?
One to trust and the other to thrust.
What does a hooker and butter have in common?
They both spread for bread.
My ex died in an anchorage accident.
She always was a sleeping hooker.
What is the difference between a nun and a hooker?
One makes you believe in Heaven, the other makes you feel it.
Q: What do Moses and hookers have in common?
A: They've dealt with a burning bush.
What do hookers and porn stars have in common? They get paid for sex and get STD's.
My girlfriend left me today for spending my own money. What a bitch! I spend a fair amount of money on her for her clothes and Air Force Ones, but as soon as I spend $100 on hookers, she leaves me.
What's the difference between a dead hooker and an onion?
I don't cry when I'm cutting up a dead hooker.
What’s the difference between a nun and a hooker?
One kneels for salvation.
The other kneels with salivation.
What is the difference between a nun and a hooker?
One reads, the other breeds.
What's the difference between a nun and a hooker?
One is glowing and the other is blowing.
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?
A hooker can wash her crack and resell it.
What do you call a dead hooker?
It doesn't matter, she won't answer you.
Do you know the best thing about killing a hooker?
Not only do you get your money back, but the second hour is free.
How many hookers fit in a Cadillac?
About 4 in the trunk if you stack 'em right.
What did the leper say to the hooker? "You can keep the tip."
A husband and wife get into a fight. The wife says, "Go blow off some steam. I’ll let you fuck a hooker." So he does that, comes back, and says, "I’m off the hook now!"
What is more used than plastic?
Hookers.
P1: What's the difference between a kid and a hooker?
P2: I don't know.
P1: Wow, you sick fuck!
A panda goes to see a hooker. He goes down on her, he mates with her, he ejaculates and then he attempts to walk away.
The working girl asks, "Aren't you going to pay me?"
She opens the dictionary to "Prostitute: One who sells sexual companionship for money."
The panda picks up the dictionary and turns to the definition "Panda: A marsupial who eats, roots, shoots, and leaves."