Hooker jokes
What is the difference between a nun and a hooker?
One to trust and the other to thrust.
What does a hooker and butter have in common?
They both spread for bread.
What do both a hooker and a customer have in common? They come onto each other.
What is the difference between a nun and a hooker?
One makes you believe in Heaven, the other makes you feel it.
My ex died in an anchorage accident.
She always was a sleeping hooker.
What do hookers and porn stars have in common? They get paid for sex and get STD's.
Q: What do Moses and hookers have in common?
A: They've dealt with a burning bush.
What’s the difference between a nun and a hooker?
One kneels for salvation.
The other kneels with salivation.
What's the difference between a nun and a hooker?
One is glowing and the other is blowing.
What's the difference between a dead hooker and an onion?
I don't cry when I'm cutting up a dead hooker.
What is the difference between a nun and a hooker?
One reads, the other breeds.
My girlfriend left me today for spending my own money. What a bitch! I spend a fair amount of money on her for her clothes and Air Force Ones, but as soon as I spend $100 on hookers, she leaves me.
What do you call a dead hooker?
It doesn't matter, she won't answer you.
Saint Nicholas is the patron saint of working girls. Call girls. Hookers. Prostitutes. And the association is a long one, going back to the very earliest legends which place St. Nick as a Greek bishop in Myra, Lycia in what is now the Turkish Mediterranean - three centuries after Christ.
Saint Nicholas is notable primarily for giving secretly to the poor, and supposedly the first to benefit were three young ladies whose poor father couldn't afford wedding or dowry to marry them off - destining them instead to a life of prostitution. St. Nick supposedly threw a bag of gold through the window to pay for the wedding but, by the third attempt, the poor father was watching to determine the identity of the anonymous benefactor. Santa outsmarted him by dropping the last bag of coins down the chimney.
So, whenever you see Santa, he always travels with his three favourite sex workers - who seemingly never grow old. On a quiet, still Christmas night you can even hear him call them.
Ho! Ho! Ho! And to all a good night.
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?
A hooker can wash her crack and resell it.
How many hookers fit in a Cadillac?
About 4 in the trunk if you stack 'em right.
What did the leper say to the hooker? "You can keep the tip."
A husband and wife get into a fight. The wife says, "Go blow off some steam. I’ll let you fuck a hooker." So he does that, comes back, and says, "I’m off the hook now!"
What is more used than plastic?
Hookers.
P1: What's the difference between a kid and a hooker?
P2: I don't know.
P1: Wow, you sick fuck!