Hooker

Hooker Jokes

Suicide

How do you know the hooker killed herself?

She sniffed the line off the dresser you said not to touch.

Rubber

What do a bungee jump and a hooker have in common?

They’re both cheap, fast, and if the rubber breaks, you’re pretty much screwed.

Onion

What's the difference between an onion and a hooker?

I cry when I chop up onions.

Wood

What's the difference between the woods and a hooker?

Some hookers have passions for nature. Other hookers will Kill ThEIR Tricks for payback!!!!!!

Boy

This ole boy picked up a hooker one time and she gave him the clap. In a few days, he saw her again, and he went up to her and said, "Hey, you gave me the clap!" She said, "NO I DID NOT! I sold it to ya!"

Knee

What do you call a Chinese hooker that won't get on her knees?

Cantonese...

Drive Thru

Hookers are like drive-thrus; you tell them what you want, pay for your stuff, and leave.

Pedophile

What shoes do pedophiles wear? White vans.

How do pedophiles fit in? They force it to go in.

How do you make a 16 mm hole into a 40 mm hole? A pedophile comes in.

What did Santa say when he was passing over some hookers? "Ho ho ho!"

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  • Difference

    What's the difference between my car and a hooker? I park my car in a garage instead of leaving it on the side of the road.

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  • Difference

    What’s the difference between Jesus and a hooker?

    The look on their face when you're nailing them.

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  • Cash

    What did the hooker say when she found out the cash she was paid with for services rendered was counterfeit?

    I've been raped!

    Dick

    Being a hooker shouldn't be illegal.

    It's like having an Airbnb for your dick.

    Survivor

    What do you call a school shooting survivor who grows up to be a prostitute on the West Coast?

    A Sandy Hooker

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  • Customer

    What do both a hooker and a customer have in common? They come onto each other.

    Butter

    What does a hooker and butter have in common?

    They both spread for bread.

    Ex

    My ex died in an anchorage accident.

    She always was a sleeping hooker.