Hooker

Hooker Jokes

Light Bulb

How many hookers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Must be more than 9 because my basement is still dark.

Man

I once asked a sketchy man at a bar for some relationship advice. He simply replied, "They're all dead hookers once they're in the trunk."

R. Kelly

Why didn't R. Kelly go to Germany to fuck teens? The legal age there is 14...Like bro hop on a plane and fuck a 14 year old hooker!

Dick

How many dicks can fit inside of a hooker? I don't know, ask your wife.

Hook

What kind of person will steal Captain Hook's hook?

Answer: A hooker.

Dead Hooker

Q: What did one dead hooker say to the other dead hooker?

A: Nothing, dead hookers don't talk.

Marriage

A man and a woman get married. The woman was a retired hooker. The man was a poet.

The man said as they did 69, "You taste better than my most delicious gourmet meal." The woman said, "Well, you aren’t too bad either, but the best 69 I’ve gotten and given was Harry. He did it for 24 hours nonstop." They got divorced that night.

House

What can happen if you bring a hooker into a stranger's house? He will ask you, "Really, are you nuts?"

Difference

What's the difference between a spare tire and dead hookers? I don't have 8 spare tires in my trunk.

Time

Who remembers when ‘tweeting’ meant “stabbing a hooker”?