Hit jokes

There were three people on the third floor of a building. The first one took a bite of an apple, then said it was too hard, so he threw it out the window. The second person took a bite of a lemon. He said it was too sour, so he threw it out the window. The third guy was drunk. He took a bite of a grenade and thought it was too crunchy, so he threw it out the window.

Then one of them went downstairs. He saw a dog laying on the ground dead. The apple had hit the dog in the head. Then there was a little girl crying with her cat in her lap. It had died because the lemon fell out the window and hit it in the head. Next, there was an old guy laughing. I asked him why he was laughing. He said, "I farted and the building behind me blew up."

You're walking into a bar and you see 2 younger kids around 18. You call the manager to have them removed, but no one came down.

Later that night, you see the 2 18-year-olds, 1 was a girl and the other was a boy, so you call the manager down. No one came again. You confront them and tell them to leave, but one turns around and hits you. You are knocked out on the floor. When you wake up, there is a hard feeling in your a**. You turn your head around and there is an autistic girl with a strap-on in your a** going full on hard.

If a person in a wheelchair runs you over, can you call it a "hit and can't run?"

I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger, then it hit me.

So, my mom has hit me with a flip flop when I was bad, and when I cheated on my girl, right when the other girl came in, a flip flop came flying in the room.

A ball hit me in the vagina.

I wondered why the pitcher hadn’t pitched the ball yet.

Then it hit me.

I'm like a rubber because people hit me as I can't feel.

The whole reason he is dead is because he kept hitting "Remind me later" on his Windows Updates.

So a blond and a brunette jumped out of a plane. Who hit the ground first?

The blond because she had to ask for directions.

When two wheelchairs hit each other, is it a fender bender?

"Dumbest7" is my Xbox account. Hit me up.

Why didn't Sally get home from work?

She got hit by a bus.

Boy: Why is my sister named Rose?

Dad: Someone threw a rose out of a car and it hit her in the head.

Boy: Okay, Dad.

Dad: No problem, Brick.

My ex misses me, good thing she'll never hit me.

When you're going 80 mph and hit a speed bump,

Then the speed bump starts screaming.

A man and a cow are stuck on train tracks, and there is a train in the distance about to hit both of them. A vegan sees this and tries to help. Who does he save, the man or the cow?

Neither. He isn't strong enough to lift either of them.

When earthquakes hit, coffins become maracas underground.

My girlfriend said, "GIMME EIGHT INCHES AND MAKE IT HURT!"

So I pumped my dick in her 4 times and hit her in the head with a brick.

Why did I walk across the road?

To get hit by a car.