3 blonde were walking on a path, the first blonde said, “Hey look there are deer tracks!” The second blonde said, “No way those are totally duck tracks,” The third blonde said, “Nuh uh those are” then they got hit by a train.
1:My grandpa died last year 2:What kind of cancer? 1:He was hit by a bus! its called bus cancer
A man is meeting a client in Japan, but arrives a day early. When night hit, he went out with a prostitute. They're having sex, but the prostitute kept shouting "Fuji, Fuji, Fuji!", so the man thinks he's doing a good job. The next day, the man meets his client and they go golfing, and the client gets a hole in one. The man praises him by going "Fuji, Fuji, Fuji!". His client turns around confused and says, "What do you mean wrong hole!?"
What did the hungry Dalmation say when he had some kibble?
That hit the spot!
If you wanna hit somebody, hit an orfan, what are they gonna do... tel their parents
Today; Worst day ever
My annoying sibling got hit by a train and I lost my job as a conductor.
Driving on a road at night and hit a speed bump. Remember there are no speed bumps..... I hit bambie
What did the beaver say when it hit the wall?
Dam!
Q:Why is it fun to hit an orphan
A:Who are they going to tell there parents
A baby skunk's mother gets hit by a car, so the baby skunk doesn't know what he is.
So the baby skunk walks up to a baby bunny and asks, "What are you?" The baby bunny replies, "Well, I'm a baby bunny. What are you?" The baby skunk says, "Well, I don't know, am I a baby bunny too?"
The baby bunny says, "No, you're not a baby bunny." So the baby skunk asks, "Well, what am I then?"
The baby bunny replies, "Well, you're not exactly blank and you're not exactly white, so you must be Mexican."
A guy sits at a bar in a skyscraper restaurant high above the city. He slams a shot of tequila, goes over to the window and jumps out.
The guy sitting next to him can’t believe what he just saw. He’s more surprised when, 10 minutes later, the same guy walks back into the bar and sits down next to him.
The astonished onlooker asks, “How did you do that? I just saw you jump out the window, and we’re hundreds of feet above the ground!”
The jumper responds by slurring, “Well, I don’t get it either. I slam a shot of tequila, and when I jump out the window, the tequila makes me slow down right before I hit the ground. Watch.” He takes a shot, goes to the window and jumps out.
The other guy runs to the window and watches as the guy falls to just above the sidewalk, slows down and lands softly on his feet. A few minutes later, the jumper walks back into the bar.
The other guy has to try it, too, so he orders a shot of tequila. He slams it and jumps out the window. As he reaches the bottom, he doesn’t slow down at all. SPLAT!
The first guy orders another shot of tequila. The bartender shakes his head. “You’re really an a**hole when you’re drunk, Superman.”
I couldn’t understand why the baseball was getting bigger and bigger.
Then it hit me.
Why did Jerry fall off the moon?
Because he got hit by a fridge.
When your mom tries to hit you with the belt but misses and hits herself... #victoryroyale
Whats the definition of dissapointment running in to a wall with a bonner but it hits only hits your nose
A man was hitting a woman with his d*ck. Someone ran up to the man and said “THATS DOMESTIC VIOLENCE” the man replied with “no, it’s not domestic violence it’s DUMBASS-D*CK VIOLENCE”
what is red, green, lies in a ditch and is covered in cookie crumbs?
...a girl scout that got hit by a car
*a married woman gets hit by a truck and the cops tell her husband Cop: sir, it looks like your wife’s been hit by a truck Man; I know but she has a great personality
A guy is bankrupt, so he gives his son a duck and tells him to go sell it for as much as he can. So the kid goes on the street to sell the duck. A prostitute walks by and says, "I'll f--ck you for $10." The boy says, "I would, but I don't have any money." She says, "Ok, I'll take the duck instead." He says, "Ok," so they go upstairs and f--ck. The prostitute says, "That's the best sex I've ever had. I'll give you the duck back, and we can do it again." So they do, and he gets the duck back. But when they go downstairs, the duck gets hit by a car. And the guy that hit the duck feels so bad that he gives the kid $25. So when he gets home, his father asks him why he looks so tired. The boy says, "Well, I got a f--ck for a duck, a duck for a f--ck, and $25 for a f--cked up f--ck."
i got hit by a bus but the bus was my ex
