History jokes
What’s the difference between Usain Bolt and Hitler?
Usain finished the races.
What do you call a blind German?
A Nazi (not see).
I'd make a 9/11 joke, but it wouldn't fly anymore.
And if I tried it, it would probably crash and burn.
It just wouldn't help my comedy career take off.
How is slavery different from Pokémon?
The types you can have.
Frank: "I am named Frank because my grandpa lived in Frankfurt during his best years."
Finley: "I am named Finley because my grandmother was in Finland during her early twenties!"
Mia: "Can we please change the subject?"
Why aren't Americans good at Clash Royale?
Because they already lost 2 towers.
Adolf Hitler
America Twin Tower: "Hey, have you seen the Malaysian Twin Tower? I have, but only from 1971 to 2001."
Malaysian Twin Tower: "I STOOD LONGER!"
I was at a train station and a woman ran up to me and asked, "Is this train running on time?" I said, "No, it runs on steam and coal."
Kris looks like a Neanderthal. The only difference is that Neanderthals serve a purpose in HUMAN HISTORY.
Why don't you fight a dinosaur?
You'll get jurasskicked.
Why did the rapper become an archaeologist?
Because he wanted to dig for old-school beats!
Why is 10 scared of 11 and 9? Because he's in the middle of 9/11.
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My sister is so stupid, she thought LBJ was a blow job.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a good body these days?
I think Jeffrey Dahmer had the right idea, just put it in the freezer.
Why is the sinking of Titanic different to sinking rapboat?
Titanic sinking was a tragedy, rapboat sinking is fucking funny.
The Twin Towers are like crippled legs; once they break, they can’t be fixed.
What do Pink Floyd and Princess Diana have in common?
Their last big hit was the wall.
What's the difference between 9/11 and a cow?
You can't milk a cow for over 10 years.