History jokes
If you are what you eat,
why is Jeffrey Dahmer white?
When and where was the biggest BBQ ever?
Hiroshima, Japan 1946.
Nah, I'm Hawaiian but I'm also Japanese. So does that mean I bombed my own harbor?
What’s the difference between God and Hitler?
God made thousands of bread, Hitler made thousands of toast.
Jokes about communism aren't funny unless everyone gets them.
In 2001, my parents took me to 9/11. I was soaring towards it with excitement!
What is George Floyd’s best pick up line?
"You're breathtaking."
They say there is strength in numbers. Tell that to the people in the World Trade Center.
What’s the difference between Usain Bolt and Hitler?
Usain finished the races.
What do you call a blind German?
A Nazi (not see).
I'd make a 9/11 joke, but it wouldn't fly anymore.
And if I tried it, it would probably crash and burn.
It just wouldn't help my comedy career take off.
How is slavery different from Pokémon?
The types you can have.
Frank: "I am named Frank because my grandpa lived in Frankfurt during his best years."
Finley: "I am named Finley because my grandmother was in Finland during her early twenties!"
Mia: "Can we please change the subject?"
Why aren't Americans good at Clash Royale?
Because they already lost 2 towers.
Adolf Hitler
America Twin Tower: "Hey, have you seen the Malaysian Twin Tower? I have, but only from 1971 to 2001."
Malaysian Twin Tower: "I STOOD LONGER!"
I was at a train station and a woman ran up to me and asked, "Is this train running on time?" I said, "No, it runs on steam and coal."
Kris looks like a Neanderthal. The only difference is that Neanderthals serve a purpose in HUMAN HISTORY.
Why don't you fight a dinosaur?
You'll get jurasskicked.
Why did the rapper become an archaeologist?
Because he wanted to dig for old-school beats!