History jokes
What's the difference between 9/11 and a cow?
You can't milk a cow for over 10 years.
I'd tell a slavery joke, but they've been flogged to death.
The truth behind Hitler's suicide: his gas bill was too high.
Why are Germans good at smoking?
They had experience with smoking.
What was Hitler's favorite thing to do to pass the time?
Smoking.
What's the difference between a Nazi and an onion? If you cut a Nazi, nobody is crying.
Jeffery Epstein killed Hitler.
Dude, what if 9/11 happened because they wanted slavery back?
The other day I went to a museum. My friend and I went to the Holocaust section, and he got choked up when he saw the Anne Frank picture. I asked him, "Why are you sad? It's just an ashtray."
What's the difference between John Wayne and Jack Daniels?
Jack Daniels is still killing Indians.
What do you call a group of black men hanging from a tree?
Alabama wind chimes.
Gas is expensive nowadays.
In the 1940s, they got it for free.
What does it mean when a man has a dodgy past? It means he has skeletons in his closet.
What does it mean when a man likes Lana Del Rey better than Ed Sheeran? It means he has a closet full of women's leather pants (but no women in their dating history).
What's an old Japanese man's last words?
"Hey, that cloud looks like a mushroom, or is it just me?"
Why were the Twin Towers angry on 9/11?
Because they ordered a pepperoni pizza, but all they got instead was plane.
I can’t watch anime anymore when my friend’s grandpa is in the house.
He hasn’t heard a Japanese person scream since the war.
Dear Victims... äh Passengers, we are flying now from Ryadh to New York. Amazing Building... äh Amazing City. There's online, but 2000 there were two Towers... äh Restaurants. We hijack the plane... äh Hi Jack. Jack is my co-pilot, and I said hello. Don‘t scream... History Repea... äh... History never comes back, we are now flying back to the Airport. 💀
What's an emo's favorite way of growing food?
The slash and burn tactic.
JFK and Abe Lincoln were some of the most open-minded presidents ever.
What did the Twin Towers say to each other?
Sorry if that offended anyone.
“I guess we are going down together!”