History jokes
What is the difference between Usain Bolt and Hitler?
Usain Bolt can finish a race.
This joke's about flowers, the blue one's a violet.
Your mom's the Twin Towers and I am the pilot!
President Joseph Biden said during the first presidential debate of the 2024 presidential election that he does not debate as well as he used to. Mr. Biden also can't think as well as he used to either, but then again when Mr. Biden was a United States senator in the state of Delaware he never could think because thinking was never one of his strengths and that is the reason why Mr. Biden became President Obama's vice president in the first place.
Oh well, that's politics.
You must be from Pearl Harbor, 'cause baby, you're the bomb!
Bill Clinton, George W. Bush, and George Washington are on a sinking ship.
As the boat sinks, George Washington heroically shouts: “Save the women!”
George W. Bush hysterically hollers: “Screw the women!”
Bill Clinton asks excitedly: “Do we have time?”
Why is Hitler better than Biden?
Because Hitler gave his people gas for free.
A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a Martinus.
"Don't you mean a martini?" asks the bartender.
The Roman replies, "If I wanted a double, I would have asked for one!"
What does Santa Claus and Bill Cosby have in common?
They both come while you’re asleep.
Why are people in Japan so thin?
Because it didn't end well the last time a Fat Man was there.
Why do black people only have nightmares? Because the last one who had a dream was shot.
Your hairline goes so far back that it was getting whipped in the 1800s.
What is the best joke of all time?
Feminism.
Why is 10 afraid?
Because he next to 9 and 11.
I would tell a 9/11 joke, but it would probably go up in flames.
why are people in japan so slim? because the last time a fatman came, they lost half their population.
Why does Japan not allow little boys to run?
Because the last time a little boy came, Japan lost a state.
What do Drew Bledsoe and the Twin Towers have in common?
They both got taken out by two jets.
I remember my first day back when working at a camp. I was so surprised when the trains arrived.
My Grandpa killed 30 Air Force pilots in WW2. He was a very bad mechanic.
Hitler was talking about how to fight in WW2 when someone sneezed while Hitler was giving a speech, so Hitler yelled, "WHO SNEEZED ROW 1? DID ANYONE SNEEZE?" They said no, and Hitler shot everybody. Same for row 2 & 3, but in row 4 someone nervous said, "Me, I'm sorry." Then Hitler said, "Bless you."