History

History Jokes

Grandpa

My Grandpa killed 30 Air Force pilots in WW2. He was a very bad mechanic.

Hitler

Hitler was talking about how to fight in WW2 when someone sneezed while Hitler was giving a speech, so Hitler yelled, "WHO SNEEZED ROW 1? DID ANYONE SNEEZE?" They said no, and Hitler shot everybody. Same for row 2 & 3, but in row 4 someone nervous said, "Me, I'm sorry." Then Hitler said, "Bless you."

9/11

Me traveling back in time to tell Americans there will be a big tsunami on 9/11/2001, and to survive it they have to climb the two tallest buildings in New York.

Oral

It's a little known fact that Helen Keller was against teaching deaf people sign language and thought they should be forced to use oral language.

Weird.

Last time I forced somebody into oral, I got arrested.

Pedophile

What do Civil War veterans and pedophiles have in common?

They both prefer Minnie (mini) balls.

Coal

What is the difference between Black people and coal?

It’s bad for the environment to burn coal.

Difference

What is the difference between Kanye and Hitler?

Hitler knew when his career was over.

Cotton

What do you call a crowd of horny white women?

Cotton waiting to be picked.

Electronics

Why do people hit their electronics when they don’t work?

You keep the tradition of hitting black things.

Snow

Why do Native Americans hate snow?

Because it's white and on their land.

Rib

How do you know Adam and Eve were white?

Have you ever tried taking a rib from black women?

Racism

What do Nike and the KKK have in common?

They both make Black people run faster.

Bbq

When and where was the biggest BBQ ever?

Hiroshima, Japan 1946.

Harbor

Nah, I'm Hawaiian but I'm also Japanese. So does that mean I bombed my own harbor?

Difference

What’s the difference between God and Hitler?

God made thousands of bread, Hitler made thousands of toast.

9/11

In 2001, my parents took me to 9/11. I was soaring towards it with excitement!