History jokes
My dad told me a joke one time. When I realized the joke, the second tower was hit.
When Pope Pius IX died, he went to Heaven, knocked at the door, and St. Peter opened it: "Who are you? What do you want?”
"I am Pope Pius. I want to come to Heaven.”
“Where do you come from?"
"Rome."
“What do you mean? Rome, Massachusetts, or Rome, New York?"
"No, Rome, Italy, of course."
“I'm very sorry, but I do not know you!”
To make sure not to erroneously deny access to an authorized person, Saint Peter takes the telephone, calls up God, and asks: "Hello, Boss, here is a guy who says he is the Pope of Rome, do you know him?"
"What do you mean: Rome, Massachusetts, or Rome, New York?"
"No, Rome, Italy, of course."
"No, sorry, I don’t know him.”
Saint Peter makes another telephone call and rings up Jesus: "Hello, Junior, here’s a guy who says he is the Pope of Rome, do you know him?"
"Rome, Massachusetts, or Rome, New York?"
"Rome, Italy."
"No, sorry, never heard of him.”
Saint Peter still does not give up and finally calls up the Holy Ghost and asks: "Hello, Smoky, here is a guy who says he is the Pope of Rome. Do you know him?"
"What does he mean, Rome, Massachusetts, or Rome, New York?"
"He says Rome, Italy."
"No, sorry, I’m afraid I do not know this guy." But then, after a very short while, he continues: "Wait, wait, tell me, is that the guy who invented the damn story about Mary and me?"
An Aboriginal Australian told me that I was on his farmland.
So I told him he was on my cock.
(I'm Australian btw, respect to my American bros🇺🇸)
Slavery is like Pokémon, you gotta catch them all.
What did the captured Germans say to the French in WW1?
"Verdun for."
How you guys not even know who did it? Hahahahaha.
My great grandfather died in 9/11.
He was such a good pilot.
How was copper wire invented?
Two Jewish people fighting over a penny.
My sister is so stupid, she thought LBJ was Spanish for blowjob.
What’s the difference between a Jew and an American? The American makes it out of camp.
Why does 9/11 only get a day, but Pride gets an entire month?
Because pride is a bigger tragedy.
What did one slave owner say to the other slave owner when he couldn’t find his slave?
Don’t worry, I’ll rope him in.
What do you call a house party for slaves?
An auction house.
"John FK, he think he special car no top, everyone see like he on parade. Me, I stay hidden, secret style, no bullets find me. Much smar smarter, no? Scret lifestyle safety."
Tons of people committed suicide on 9/11 by destroying government property.
Not to mention and by plane.
Do you think John F. Kennedy went for a ride in Dallas just to clear his head because his wife said he was close-minded?
Did you ever think that John F. Kennedy went for a ride in Dallas just to clear his head?
I just watched a 9/11 documentary on a plane. Man next to me said, "You know we're going to New York, right?" I told him I just wanna know what I got into.
Why was 10 so scared? Because he was in the middle of 9/11.
What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?
There used to be two until they divided into multiple pieces.